Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Final Decision

So, beginning this weekend, I will be getting a new foster placement. Yes, foster placement, not legal risk placement or adoption placement. I have had these two little kids with me for every weekend since the first weekend in December, minus one. They are sweet kids for the most part, but the girl can be quite a handful. Initially, I was not going to take them because I really want a permanent placement, but I felt bad for their situation and so agreed to take them full-time. They will be with me for a couple of months – or at least that is the case at the moment.
It makes me sad to say this, but I’m not overly excited to be having these kids come stay with me. Perhaps it is just because I am trying very hard to not let myself get too attached to these kids because they will be leaving soon (even though the baby reminds me of the first baby I had as a potential adoption and whom I still feel like he was my son, even if it was only for a few months). It will be interesting having these munchkins because I already know what behavioral issues they are coming with and I have already been trying to get them into a routine when they have been with me on the weekends. But, I will need to be getting up much earlier in the mornings again because I need to take the children to a daycare with another foster family and it is about a 20 minute drive in the opposite direction of my work. But, hopefully, after these little ones I will have my “own” baby come to me…..

Friday, January 4, 2013

The New Year

So, this new year has been interesting thus far. And there have already been some ups and downs as well. My grandfather has been in the hospital since right before Christmas. He was in for a surgery to remove embedded kidney stones and reconnect the urethra from his previous surgery. There have been some serious complications leading to a perforated bowel and a 70% chance of infection which could lead to sepsis. It’s been touch and go ever since his second operation new years eve. This is my dad’s father and really the only grandfather I have known. My mom’s father was not in contact with the family after my grandmother passed away from breast cancer when I was 5. He resurfaced when I was graduating from high school and I see him maybe one or two times a year at different family functions. I don’t call him “Grandpa” or anything, I call him by his first name. My grandfather in the hospital now I call PopPop. He was the only one I let pull my teeth as a child and he pulled every single baby tooth from my mouth and also most of my sisters as well. He taught me to ride a bike, yelling “Peddle, peddle, peddle!” and gently pushing me forward. He used to take us (my brother and I mostly) into the meadow to see a new calf when it was born. He would let us ride along on the wagon when he picked up hay or when he picked corn. Every year for my birthday I had a hay ride party and he would be the one to drive the tractor around the farm with a bunch of screaming girls (and some boys and parents) in the back. I love my grandfather dearly and I have been praying feverishly for his recovery. The worst part is that he is not in a local hospital. He is in Hershey which is over an hour’s drive away. My sister and I did go to see him Christmas day but I have not been able to get back up to see him. When we were leaving Christmas day, he was holding my fingers and squeezing them tightly and he would not let go because he didn’t want us to leave. He could not talk because his throat was sore from the tube they used when he was anesthetized and he had so many other tubes and things stuck to his arms and hands that he couldn’t really hold hands. But, having his family around him comforted him and he didn’t want us to leave him alone. It just broke my heart to gently pry my fingers from his and give him an air kiss (I had the sniffles and was wearing a mask, plus there were too many things on his body to get too close him anyway). My grandfather has always been a hard worker. From sun up to sun down he has worked in the fields, in the barn, or with the animals. He is sometimes seen as gruff by other people but his family knows him to be a big softie on the inside, especially for children and animals. I remember him always bringing some milk and cat food for the ferial barn cats. And I have the funniest memory of him helping me, my siblings, and my father to load our 4-H pigs at a local fair. He was especially friendly with one of the pigs and while he was trying to keep the ones we already loaded on the truck, this pig was yanking on his pants legs wanting him to scratch behind his ears. Then, as he was swatting this pig away, another pig broke loose into the crowd of bystanders (who immediately screamed and scurried away as if the pig were Godzilla) and chased a woman desperately trying to flee up a dirt path with a double stroller. I thought my grandfather would bust a gut laughing! Now, his life hangs in the balance and my heart aches knowing he is in pain and suffering so far away from the home and people he treasures so dearly. I pray for his recovery and for a much anticipated homecoming.
Wednesday night I was in my bedroom doing a brief Bible study and getting ready for bed. It was about quarter after 10 and my home phone rang. No one calls me on my home phone. No one but telemarketers and they can’t call after 9 pm. So, I answered the phone and it was CHOR calling. It was an emergency and could I take in a 12 year old just for the night? Apparently there was a big altercation with her and the foster family and she needed to be removed from their home for the night. I said I could take her and the case worker promised to call me back and let me know what time and where to pick her up. That call did not come until around 11:30 and I did not get home with the very tall and very sullen 12 year old until after midnight. I took her to school yesterday morning and then picked her up again after 7 pm at CHOR. She spent the night with me and tonight will return to her foster family just in time for me to get the two little ones I have had every weekend since November. These two are still slated to be moved to my house, pending the decision of the county. The other foster family has them until the 9th.
Tonight I will most likely be getting a “new” car. It is an older car but doesn’t have many miles on it and it is below the amount I have to spend, so I will be able to pay cash and not get another car loan. I wish I were getting a nicer, newer car, but having something reliable is fine. It’s a Ford Taurus and I have always hated how those cars look – they are not nearly as cute as my little Dodge Neon was – but it looks like it was well-kept and I will have a little money left over to pay some bills, so that’s not a bad deal. As one might suspect, Flaco has dropped the ball in compensating me for the money I have had to put out for the rental and towing of the old car. And he has not given me the deductible amount either. Raise your hand if your surprised……. I don’t see any hands…… Regardless, I will be ok. If this car lasts me another couple of years I will get my financial stuff together and be able to buy a nicer, newer car. Maybe even something I really like (I want a Honda CRV in the worst way…..)!
I have been able to keep up with two of my new year’s resolutions but have found it difficult to concentrate on the other two. But, I still have hope to work on them and get things going in the right direction for this year. The two resolutions I have been good about keeping are to do some form of physical activity for 30 minutes every day and to keep a house cleaning schedule. On Wednesday I did a yoga routine on YouTube by Jillian Michaels (from the Biggest Loser) and last night I did a different stretching yoga routine that really helped to soothe the muscles that were sore from Jillian’s workout. And, I decided that if I would take just a few minutes every day and clean one room in my house then I would not need to clean furiously every Saturday and Sunday. So, I have a schedule and plan to stick to it to keep things neat and tidy. And, as an added bonus, I can take Sunday’s off entirely! The two delinquent resolutions are to keep track of all my expenditures to get my finances in order and to eat healthier. To be fair, I planned to start the eating healthier part this weekend because I plan to go grocery shopping Saturday morning to get the ingredients I need. Plus, I detest wasting food (partially from how I was raised and partially from my experience in Nicaragua seeing how food is never wasted when it is a precious commodity) and I wanted to finish the leftovers I have. So, it’s a work in progress!