Things have been stressful lately, both in my personal like and at work. I feel like most of the time I’m just living from crisis to crisis and trying to keep my head above water as best I can. My latest dilemma is regarding the fender bender we had a week ago Saturday. Our Saturday was going well. Too well perhaps. We got a lot of the things accomplished that I wanted to get done and we even had Love Bug and Chica Marie's older sister with us and still managed to take the old TV's and computers to the county recycling, change my name with the bank, pick up some dry cleaning and have lunch all before getting ready for the pool. We set out, all 6 of us, me, Primero, Esperanza, Chica Marie, her older sister, and baby Love Bug. We were mere blocks from our home when we smashed into a lady who didn't properly stop at a posted stop sign. And that's where our good day ended. In the ensuing madness the pool was a forgotten dream. The lady I hit said she did nothing wrong and blamed me on being distracted by "all the kids." (And the children were all on their best behavior when this happened, I might add – no one was screaming or fighting or running around, they stood calmly under a shade tree waiting for me, the cop, and the other driver to sort things out) To which I retorted that she drove through a stop sign and “all those kids” were foster kids. In calling the foster care agency I was told to take them to the ER to get checked out. Um, how? My car sustained heavy damage to the front with one headlight torn off and the bumper hanging on by an edge. We limped the few blocks home and I called the insurance companies while waiting for my uncle to take us all to the ER in his van and the foster family for the little one's sister to arrive and take her to the ER since I wasn't her foster mother. Unfortunately, she was in respite because her foster mother was on vacation in another state visiting her daughter. What a mess!! And, as if the accident itself wasn’t stressful enough, the woman's insurance company is calling it “shared responsibility” and only willing to cover 70% of the damages stating it was partially my fault, since I'm somehow supposed to know which cars are driven by people unwilling to follow posted traffic signs......
Before tragedy befell us with the fender bender, I was sitting with the girls while they ate lunch. Chica Marie’s sister smiled at me and said, “You know I’m saving my money.” I told her that was a very good thing and asked what she was saving it for, expecting to hear something along the lines of a pony, doll, phone or some other thing. “To buy you a house,” was her response. I thought she was joking around with me so I replied, “I already have a house” and swept my hands out to point to the walls and ceiling around us. “No, to buy you a bigger house so we can all live together.” Oh. Ooooohhhhh. Ouch! It’s a sad thing to hear from a young child who is living with her 6th foster family. She likes to come to visit us and she likes being with her sister, but I think it is more than that. I think she desires the stability she sees her younger siblings having and the sense of family we have as well. The time she had been visiting us before this she began calling me mommy at the pool and clung to me just like her sister who is half her age. I don’t know if the county has revisited the grandmother’s offer to take her in now that the visits have been suspended. I hope they do. But in the meantime, I’ve taken it upon myself to be sure that the older sister gets to see her siblings as often as I can manage. I wish the other foster family would take it a little more seriously, but they are a self-admitted temporary home for her and so maybe they don’t feel like putting forth the effort, which I think is pretty crappy.
We found out from Primero’s adoption case worker that at
best, his adoption will happen in November, but it could be as late as the end
of the year. I’m so frustrated about it I almost feel like throwing in the
towel and saying forget it! Not that I don’t want to adopt him, but at this
point he will be 16 when he is adopted and why? Why has it taken so long for
this to happen? TPR occurred in March so what has taken so long for the
finalization to occur? Our date line in the sand is continually changing and it
just isn’t fair to keep him/us in limbo this long. Just another frustration!
I am trying to help Esperanza get her birth certificate and
other pertinent ID so she can get a driver’s license and a job. Thus far it has
been impossible. We tried to order her birth certificate online but the credit
card would need to be in her name. If we mail it in she would need to provide
government issued ID, which she does not have. And this is our first step in
getting her other credentials, like her Social Security card, license, etc. It’s
a mess! I wish I knew how to go about getting her this information because she
so needs it to become an independent adult!
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