From 0 to 3

During my pink eye down time I reminisced about many things, but one thing that was rolling around in my brain was how I went from alone to three kids in the span of 6 months. It’s funny how, when you are in the midst of a thing it just seems to flow but when you look back you see the general insanity of it all. Primero moved in with me the end of February 2014, ending my 4 month empty home dry spell. I had a brief weekend-long placement in May but it was just me and Primero for four months before Love Bug was born and came home on June 30^th. His older sister, Chica Marie, had spent several weekends with us in respite, including a long weekend when Love Bug was just a week old, but she didn’t officially move in until the beginning of August. I’ve noted the struggle some parents feel, going from one child to two but I didn’t really have time to think much about it when it was happening. Of course it helps that the ages of my children are significantly staggered and Primero is a very helpful big brother. Still, there are plenty of times where I feel like I’m being tugged in multiple directions simultaneously. My life often feels like the Jenga game, where pulling one wrong peg could cause the whole structure to come tumbling down into a messy heap. I contemplated if that was happening as my eyes were stuck shut with gross sticky pink eye goop. Is this it? Is it all going to come tumbling down? Thankfully, it didn’t but I’m still questioning my tendency to push myself to “get stuff done” and keep moving even when I really just want a break. The contrast between my day home alone and my day home with the two little kids last week was indicative of this tendency. When I was home alone I managed to nap and rest for most of the day, after getting everyone where they needed to go, that is. When the kids were home, there was a lot less rest and a lot more “getting stuff done” going on, which might explain why my eyes are still red a week after starting treatment (they are getting better, much less red today, but still not completely healed).

 

The past two weekends I have worked hard at home, after working a full-time job all week. I really want to finish purging the whole house and the end is in sight, at least for the upper floor (the basement was recently purged but certainly more can be done there). But, I’m feeling discouraged because, despite my hard work and umpteen trips to drop off donations at Goodwill, our house does not feel any less stuffed. I still struggle with where to put things (like the wreaths I keep making to hang on our front door – a wonderful idea but good Lord where am I going to put them all?!) and not having to dig to find something when I want to use it. I know, from reading blogs about going minimalist, that it is never a task where you are totally done for good, but one that you must keep on top of, but I was still hoping to get to a point where I can say, “Good job! The house feels much less cluttered now that you’ve purged it all!” I bought bunk beds for Chica Marie’s bedroom, thinking they would fit into the room a certain way. I measured, more than once, and it seemed according to the dimensions online, they would fit. Alas, the bunk beds are more hulking than streamlined and they only fit in the room in a way that makes it feel claustrophobically small and leaves little room for things like a dresser and toys. If I were handy, I’d make bunk beds to fit the space because I’m fairly certain it can be done. But, I’m not handy and I wouldn’t trust letting my child sleep on the top bunk of a bed I constructed. I keep telling myself things are better now with less items, but every time I need to dig a pot or pan out of the cabinet I see all my work as being futile. Our house is just very small. Probably too small for all the inhabitants. When I watch the Tiny House Living show on TV it makes my skin crawl because that is our reality (although, I guess at 520 square feet our house is huge compared to the houses half that size) and it is not as easy as those fools on TV would have you believe. Maybe they have most of their junk in storage? I don’t know. But, from my personal experience, I would never recommend trying to squish more than 2 people into a house our size.