During our stint in quarantine, Chica Marie has had a lot of emotions regarding adoption and her biological family come up. A few weeks ago, after asking why she was adopted, she attempted to run away. She even climbed out her bedroom window (which is above the basement door and about 8 feet off the ground). She has been showing some signs of prepubescent changes, so I don't know how much hormones might be starting to play into the mental health. I am desperate for us to strengthen our connection before puberty hits because right now we struggle. Next week Love Bug will go to daycare for 3 hours per day. Chica Marie will stay home and work with her therapists to try to tease out some of the things she simply will not talk about but seem to cause her the most anguish. Last week during play therapy with her therapist she revealed she trusts me a lot more than her bio mom. At one point, the doll family invited bio mom to live with them but quickly asked her to leave because she was being inappropriate. I suppose, it's because she trusts me that she pushes me away so hard. I am hoping we can make more headway with some one-on-one therapy with her as our little bubble of family intimacy is popping. Chica Marie will attend daycare for half-days with Love Bug the last week of June and then full days when I am back at work in July.
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Hi there, I read this post after it was included in The Stirrup Queens' Friday blog roundup. I have to say I totally agree with you: it's because your daughter trusts you that she pushes you away so hard.
ReplyDeleteIf a stranger on the internet can provide you any reassurance and support, I would love to do so. I had an awesome teaching job for awhile, a unique situation where all of the students I taught were in foster care or post-adoptive homes. I got incredible training while working for this school. Please believe me when I say you are doing all the right things as her mom. <3 You create an environment where your daughter can ask you hard questions and you provide her with therapeutic intervention as she grows and learns how to process her feelings and manage herself. Most importantly, you are a consistent, stable, loving, and dependable presence in her everyday life.
Quarantine has been very difficult for a lot of reasons. I will be keeping you and your family in my thoughts. <3 Phoenix
Thank you so much for your kind words. I get frustrated with our slow process and I know she does too. Both of us recognize my relationship with the boys is less tenuous and we both want more but somehow we can't seem to get on the same wavelength. We keep trying.
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