Allegations from the Past

So, the new therapy for the little girl started on Saturday. And it was one hot stinking mess! We got there just in the nick of time and were asked for her SS card (this is not given to foster parents, not ever), her insurance card, the court order for her being in my care and my ID. I had exactly none of those things. We were in a hurry, so I left my purse, which contains most of the items they requested, in the car. While I tried to explain this, I was told they could not see the child, I would have to pay out-of-pocket and then the director and one of the intake secretaries had a conversation in Spanish in front of me, not knowing I understood them. They also kept confusing my foster daughter with her older sister, who had not arrived. I sent Primero to the car for the items I had (all but the Social Security card) and when I gave it to them, they were disinterested in it. The case worker insisted she told me to bring these items (she did not – I took notes during our conversation and made no note of needing any of those things requested). We were then left to wait. The family advocate for the mother was there and helped guide things along and explain things to me. She took the little girl upstairs and then came back and said the bio mom was refusing to stay the entire time, stating she had another appointment. She ended up staying, as did Primero, the baby and I. The other foster mom left and came back. She was anxious to leave because it had started to snow and she was taking the sister to her new foster home (so she moved after all). Bio mom explained that grandmother’s wife was having some health issues and that is why she didn’t return my call. I wonder what this means for the sister? Grandmother had presented for the sister, but if her significant other is having major health issues it might not work out. I wish her wife a speedy recovery. These therapy sessions are going to be every Saturday morning for an hour and a half – bleck! At least we have this Saturday off.

At therapy last night Primero was asked to complete a trauma assessment, something all the clients are asked to do (I had to do one for the little girl at her therapy session on Friday). Based on his answer to one question, a call was made to the child line to report an incident that happened several years ago. Primero was upset that his therapist had to report this and is refusing to talk anymore about it. Someone from CYS has to see him in the next 24 hours because it was determined an investigation should be started. Primero is most upset that they are going to question his bio mom regarding the incident because he never told her it happened. He didn’t (and still doesn’t) want her to get upset and depressed about it, calling herself a “bad” mother. I see it as her taking over the situation for the attention to be on her, rather than Primero, but that’s just me. Certainly there are things that all mothers do that they wish they hadn’t done – we’re human. The point right now, is to help Primero deal with what happened to him so he can over-come it and move forward in his life. Guilt-tripping isn’t going to solve anything and only adds to the anguish the kid already feels. I wish someone could tell her that in a nice way that makes sense. But, as I see it, it’s all about her. My heart breaks for Primero and what he endured. I wish I could reach back in time and scoop that little boy right out of that situation and into my arms, so he never felt so scared or hurt. But, that’s just not how life goes, now is it? And, I guess it’s his past pain that makes him the awesome kid he is today – the pain has taught him to have compassion for the suffering of others. Still, he is being forced to re-live something he doesn’t want to remember or dwell on and he’s now forced to tell his story again (he told his therapist and me). I hope and pray he can find peace in all of this and perhaps make peace with the incident that happened (he claims he’s totally over it, but yet it keeps popping up in how he interacts with certain people).

I spoke briefly with Hermano via Facebook messenger and he said he was going to talk to his case worker about being moved again. That’s all he said. He’s not been interested in maintaining contact. I keep trying to stay involved as a way to show support but I’m beginning to wonder why. Primero has not been maintaining contact with his brother and isn’t concerned about his latest drama, so why should I worry myself about it? I guess I just don’t want him to feel like I don’t care when I do, I do care. I pray for guidance in how to proceed. One thing is for certain – life as a foster mom is never boring!