Finalization Paperwork

Primero is starting summer school this week. He needs to pass Math and English in order to pass onto the 9^th grade. He knows this and he desperately wants to move onto high school, but he seems rather unmotivated to do the work. This is an on-going issue for him, one that has been an ingrained habit since long before we met. I need to find a way to be more proactive and helpful in getting him to complete the assignments. Mostly, I am looking at moving him back into a traditional school rather than keeping him in cyber school because he needs the personal attention of a teacher, not the impersonal attention of an online tutor. The school I want to enroll him in only starts at 9^th grade, so he would need to pass to get in. It might be a long summer for us!

We found out last week that our beloved CHOR case worker is leaving the end of this month. Primero is besides himself because she has been with him from the moment he came into foster care and has been his greatest  champion for over 2 years now. She is moving to Florida, so it’s not like she is taking another job but will still be in the area. She promised to be friends with Primero on Facebook and she will be keeping her cell phone number and is fine with him calling or texting if he needs/wants, which I think is great. He has a connection to her and I hope they can keep in touch and Primero can continue to get the support he feels from her. When she was out at our house last week she mentioned that CHOR has been interviewing new case workers and that we would most likely get assigned to the new worker. I balked at this, stating I had worked with a new case worker two years ago and felt so unsupported and discontent. I expressed my reluctance in “breaking-in” another new worker and both Primero and I asked if we could be transferred to the case worker who had been assigned to Love Bug for most of last year. I said it made the most sense, since she knew the story with at least 2 of the 3 kids and Primero just likes talking to her. Our case worker has little control over who is assigned to us, but she did say she would mention our request to her supervisor. She also said she would very much like to attend Primero’s adoption ceremony and will do all in her power to be there, even if it means coming back to the area from Florida (she did say she anticipates making several trips, so one of those trips could be planned to coincide with the adoption finalization).

So, that is the other piece of news she brought to us. Primero’s finalization paperwork has finally been sent to CHOR and she believes his adoption could be made final in the next month or so. I asked her about updating my clearances and medical information, but she didn’t think it was necessary. I hope not, because that could hold up the process. She said she wasn’t sure who would be assigned to manage the case, but that they should be in touch soon. His county case worker has still not come out to visit us and hasn’t really responded after I told her our availability. The adoption supervisor called me to set up a time to come out next Thursday for her first home visit and safety check. This means a massive house cleaning to prepare for her visit.

The other thing our case worker said we need to consider is his therapy and if it should continue. The case worker seemed to think it could stop and Primero is anxious to stop going to therapy. I feel somewhat hesitant to totally stop all therapy just because I’m sure there is plenty for us to continue working on and I fear being cut loose to navigate this transition alone. I guess that’s silly, but the second half of our year together was so rocky and we just weren’t communicating in the best fashion. I shudder to think how we would have overcome it all without having a third party to air our grievances with. Maybe it’s just me, but I feel like we still have unresolved issues that resurface from time to time. I guess some things just might never be resolved and I just have to find a way to be ok with that. At this point, his mother is not in the picture while she is in rehab, but I am sure there will be a day sometime soon when she will pop back into our lives and all those feelings he’s never really dealt with will come rushing back. Our comingled insecurities just feed off of one another and we can’t seem to stop it. I know he has state provided insurance and so we could always find a new therapist, but I think being in a crisis and seeking therapy isn’t always the best way to manage these issues. I am still seeing my therapist, but it’s hard right now because work is crazy stressful and I can’t always get away to see my therapist. I guess we will just have to figure things out as we go along and hope for the best.