The Virtues of Turnips

Last weekend we went to the local farmers market where my dad works. With the WIC Chica Marie receives we also get a few vouchers to use on locally grown fruits and vegetables that can only be used at a farmers market. So, I was talking with the Mennonite man who runs and owns the stand and he was helping me with my purchases, while Primero held a whimpering Chica Marie (I’m not sure what she was upset about, it happens so often lately) and Esperanza was trying to entertain a wiggly Love Bug. At one point the man paused, looked up at the kids and asked, “Are they all yours?” I nodded and he commented on the age differences and said, pointing to Love Bug, “so he’ll be the baby until the next one comes, huh?” I laughed nervously thinking, “Next one? Highly unlikely the county would place another baby with me!” And then it dawned on me – he thought they were mine, like by birth! So, I muttered, “Well, they’re adopted.” And hoped this would return our conversation to the virtues of turnips and away from the children. The man looked at me from under the brim of his straw hat. I saw pity in his eyes and looked away as he said, “So you and your husband were unable to have any babies?” The alarm bells began ringing in my head and my stomach lurched at both the “husband” comment and the implication of infertility. I swallowed and picked up a cucumber for inspection while muttering, “Yeah, something like that.” I tried desperately to steer the conversation back to produce, but he persisted with his line of questioning. “What all did you try? Did you try anything?” Getting frustrated and flustered as other shoppers gathered for help purchasing green beans, I sputtered, “Yeah, we tried stuff and then he left, so…” please stop interrogating me! “It’s so hard,” he lamented, “We’ve been wanting little ones too for so long and we get impatient waiting.” Oh. The questioning had a motive not just sheer nosiness, but a desire for deeper understanding, seeking a kindred soul in the mess of infertility. I softened a bit and forgave him for prying. He threw in a few extra handfuls of green beans after he already weighed them and sort of offered me a job to fill in at their stand when someone was sick. He wished us well and as we walked away I felt relieved it was over and glad the children couldn’t hear the conversation. It had been a long time since I’ve had to deal with the infertility questions. Most people just accept that they are mine and go back to minding their own business.

We are still waiting to see if Primero will be accepted into a new charter school. Unfortunately, I noticed in the newspaper last week the districts school board is trying to get them shut down, claiming they have poor performance records. It’s a case of the pot calling the kettle black because the city school district has atrocious performance records and a pathetic graduation rate, so who are they to cast stones? If they do manage to shut the charter school down, it would take a few years and so my hope is that Primero can just get through school, even if they are bickering about it still. If the charter school does get shut down or denied new applicants, then Primero will continue with the cyber charter school is already attending. He’s been doing much better and performing better overall, so my hope is this will continue and he will pass 9^th grade on his merit instead of his age. We shall see!

Things went well at the meeting with Esperanza’s school. The meeting was actually not necessary since nothing new came out from the school talking to the other students. She was able to return to school today but we had an appointment scheduled for her to see her psychiatrist, so she was going to be going into school late. Unfortunately, all of this was waylaid due to car troubles. I could vomit! I’ve had the van back from the garage for a week and now it won’t start. We charged the battery and nothing. My dad brought a new battery over and still nothing. It could the starter, but he isn’t sure. I hate cars! The other thing Esperanza and I wanted to do today was go to the local representatives office to see about getting help to get her birth certificate. We tried to get her lab work done for the psychiatrist and her insurance has expired and not been reinstated, so it’s just a huge pickle and I don’t even know how to unravel it. I can’t believe this girl was left in this mess!

Esperanza and I have begun planning Primero’s surprise 16^th birthday party. I’m hoping to be able to hold it at the facility where he has his after school program. This would make it familiar to him, plus it would keep it in the city and hopefully allow his family and friends to attend. We decided to go with a black and white music theme. I’m trying to figure out how we could set up a photo booth for his friends to take pictures (there are programs I could download to the computer, I’m looking into it) and I’m hoping to be able to hire a DJ. Money has been so tight with the car issues, I’m worried I won’t be able to do the things I was hoping to do, but I’ll figure it out.