Not A Good Weekend

This past weekend was not a good one. Things started out ok, going to the car dealership to drop off the title to the old van, visiting with my friend and the kids playing with her dog in the snow. But, it was at my friend’s house where things started to sour with Love Bug. I don’t remember what made him mad. I think I denied him something, maybe candy. But, he got angry at me and started kicking me, landing a few good thumps to my shins before he began pummeling my hip and thigh with his fists. He screamed and yelled in my friends kitchen as he tried to continue his battery assault. Eventually, I got him calmed down and we made our way to the stadium for the cheer competition. Love Bug had settled a little during the ride and he was excited when we were stopped by the train that passes just next to the stadium. But, he was already unraveling. He ran, without holding my hand, and he demanded ice cream loudly until his grandmother bought him some. By the time we finally made it back home, I was wiped out but Love Bug’s dysregulation continued for a few more hours until he finally softened back to his normal self, snuggling on my lap. By that time, it was past their bedtime.

 

The following day we had to go grocery shopping after dropping Primero off at work and then we had to leave for Chica Marie’s cheerleading banquet. We were taking one of her friends along with us and it was expected to start snowing. Grocery shopping was enough to set Love Bug off and by the time we reached the banquet hall, he was rammy. He could not tolerate waiting for our table to be called to get in line to eat, but once we were in line, he stood and held my hand like an angel. Not long after we were done eating, he became agitated again. He wanted to watch train videos on my phone but I would not let him. He tried hitting and kicking me again. I rebuffed him and so spent most of the time sliding around on the dirty floor and ignoring me. It felt rude to leave while the wrestling coaches talked about their amazing season, but as soon as the majority of the people started standing to leave, we exited out a side door.

 

We have a new foster puppy, he came to us on Valentine’s Day so we call him Valentino. He’s an adorable rascal. And he pees and poops. On our floors. A lot. And it is starting to make me unravel. Last week I was up early one morning washing all the floors in the house. It’s just bad. An added task I simply do not need, but well, there it is. Most of the time I can handle it. But, after all the trying times with Love Bug and the emotional, mental and physical exhaustion I was feeling, I lost my shit Sunday night. What horrendous even tipped me over the edge into hysterics? A cat knocked a potted aloe plant into the sink. The biggest plant. Dirty was everywhere and my poor plant was in shambles. I had recently just spent the better part of an afternoon cleaning up the window sill above the kitchen sink because the cats have been attacking my plants and I wanted to try to save them. I lost a cactus type plant I had owned since I moved in and I didn’t want the aloe plants to follow suit. I don’t know if there is much hope for them, but I keep trying. And the cats keep knocking them down. And Sunday night, when I heard the crash and ran into the kitchen to see the mess, I was just done. Done with everything. Hastily, I put the kids to bed and sobbed as I scrapped the dirt back into the container and stuck the unlucky aloe plants back into the ground. Not long after I got the plant cleaned up, I put the dogs outside. As I was washing the mascara off my face, the kids got out of bed and went into my bedroom. Love Bug climbed into my bed, Chica Marie curled up with a blanket and pillow on the floor. I was almost catatonic by this point. I didn’t wrestle them back to bed, I just prepared myself to go to sleep since I was not going to get the night to myself. I heard the beagle howling and went to check on the dogs. The neighbors were out, sitting on their front porch in the falling snow. Their dog was also out and our dogs were barking and howling in protest. I called the dogs to come back inside, but they would not listen. I began sobbing again and told Primero I just wanted to get in the car and drive away. I wanted to be anywhere but where I was at the moment. I was so tired, so exhausted, so defeated by everything. He brought the dog inside and sent the kids back to their beds. I laid down and tried to sleep but found I could not. The snow knocked out the cable dish, so I couldn’t even distract myself with TV. I laid in the dark and hoped I didn’t have a snow day on Monday because I needed to go to work and be away from everyone. I ended up having a two-hour delay, allowing me to catch some more necessary sleep.