Home Inspection

      We had quite a whirlwind weekend! On Friday, I left work early because I was translating a wedding ceremony at the local courthouse for a friend of mine. She was marrying her fiancé, who arrived a few weeks ago from Columbia (so, they only had 90 days to get married). After the brief ceremony, I rushed home to meet a friend to head about and hour away for a Mary Kay training event. When I got back to my car, I saw I had a message on my phone. It was Consuelo from CHOR. She discovered that I had off from work on Monday (10/10) and would it be ok for her to come then for our home visit, rather than the following Monday (10/17) as originally planned. Sure! What horrible timing! I was gone Friday night and didn’t get home until around 6 pm on Saturday. I was home for a few hours and then went to my Columbian friends place to celebrate her nuptials. I spent all day Sunday cleaning, but really only managed to get the office-now-baby’s-room cleaned and organized. Yesterday Flaco and I got up early to finish cleaning and complete some of our paperwork. We did not eat breakfast and ordered Chinese delivery and had just finished our paperwork when Consuelo got there at 2 pm. She was with us for 3 hours. She finished our interview and asked us specifically what kind of child we would or would not accept. Here are some interesting things I discovered:
      1) Flaco has wanted to be a father since he was 17 years old – or at least that is what he told Consuelo. (I suppose that is not such a shocking thing for a young man living in Nicaragua – an American the same age would be doing everything he can NOT to become a father at 17).
      2) When asked what gender and age we desire for our child, Flaco answered without hesitation, “a four-month old girl.” I had no idea he wanted a girl. Of course his answer was too specific, so we agreed upon any gender from 0-3 years old.
      3) When filling out our paperwork there was a question about who we were closest to in our family. I answered my sister and expected Flaco to answer his brother closest to his age. Instead, he said his 21 year old sister, M. 

     So, after our extensive interview, Consuelo walked through our (very, very clean) house. We mostly passed with a few minor, easily correctable things. We didn’t hang our fire extinguisher (which we got at Wal-Mart for $40), mostly because I think it is unsightly, but we will hang it up. We got a new (used) dishwasher but when Flaco put it in place it leaked, so he needs to fix it. The front is off of it, revealing all the wiring, which is a hazard but of course we don’t plan on letting it that way. The child proofing we did to the cabinet where we keep our cleaning supplies is not sufficient, so we need to get another one (and I wonder how long it will take us to get used to the baby proof locks – all day yesterday we would tug on the door, only to have it fwap back into place due to the lock!). Also, we need to lock the cabinet in the bathroom where we keep our hair and shaving supplies. All of our smoke alarms work and we have a sufficient amount. We have all the electric sockets plugged with these dam plastic things I can never get out! I felt bad that we didn’t get all of our paperwork in order before Consuelo came over and when I told her that, she said that we are moving along so quickly and that we are very good about getting our paperwork done and handed in to her. We still have to get the cats to the vet and we need to finish our autobiographies, plus I have to find the dam W2s! Consuelo said we can use the annual letter we get from the Social Security office – I’m fairly certain that if I ever got those, I threw them away because I didn’t know what they were. I went on the Social Security website and there is a number I can call to get a form to fill out and request this information. I wonder how long that will take? But, it sounds like once this paperwork is through, Consuelo will come back to our place and we will be officially approved.  I am so ready to have a baby in our home. I pray that we will be matched with a baby that just immediately feels like ours.

     On Friday my friend at work found out she is going to be a grandmother again. Her daughter is pregnant again. Her first baby was born early and only weighed 2 pounds. The baby is doing very well, but she is still a little behind in her development for her age. They are worried that the moms condition (I’m not really sure what it is) might cause another premature birth, so she will see a specialist for her entire pregnancy. My co-worker received this news while at work and of course I over-heard her call because my desk is near hers. After the call, she came over to me to get a hug. I was fighting back the tears, but I managed to give her a hug and congratulate her on this news. I wonder if I will always feel that twinge when someone else gets pregnant? I hope not. I hope that I will feel an immense overwhelming joy at being a mother, regardless of the process to get to that point. I hope we are offered an infant and I do hope we get a girl, although I would be just as happy with a little boy. 

     So, as I am slowly revealing to people that we are adopting, I am beginning to despise the response, “That’s so great!” While, yes, it is great that we are a loving couple looking to bring a child in need into our lives, this “greatness” fails to acknowledge all the pain and suffering we have endured to get to this point. It was not great to make this decision because we are not able to conceive a biological child. It was not great going through so many tests and procedures and enduring months and months and months of semi-hopeful waiting. It’s not the other person’s fault. Most healthy people don’t think of infertility. In fact, some staggering statistic (don’t ask me where I got it, I can’t remember) states that 1/3 of all pregnancies in the U.S. are unplanned (has no one heard of birth control?!). But, it does not feel great to be at this point of infertility limbo and adoption purgatory. We are not actively pursing pregnancy, yet we are not officially waiting to adopt. We are stuck. But, at least no one has said, “Gee, why would you want to do that?” when I reveal we will be adopting. I wonder if I will ever truly “get over” this whole infertility thing? I hope we are matched quickly! January will mark three years since we made the decision to toss the birth control and start trying to have a family. It seems so much longer than that. I feel like I can’t hardly remember a time when we weren’t trying to have a baby. Hopefully the waiting will end soon. . . . .