Interviewing Skills for Babies

Last night we had our interview with Consuelo at CHOR. She asked us questions about our families, extended family, education, our childhoods, how we met, our greatest strength as a couple, how we handle fights and disagreements, and if we would be willing to accept a child in legal risk (meaning, they are not 100% ready for adoption, but it is a high probability they will be -  this option would give us the greatest opportunity to get a baby rather than an older child or teenager). We were at the CHOR offices for over 2 hours and didn’t even complete all of the questions. We did set up our home inspection for 10/17. Below, I have listed what else we need before we are officially approved:
     - We both need to complete our autobiographies – mine is nearly done (I need to edit it because it is too long) and Flaco has not even begun his and now he has two weeks. I am not supposed to write it for him.
     - We were given another form to fill out by the home visit and we need to write up a fire escape plan.
     - We need our W2’s from the past 10 years – Yikes! My parents did my taxes until after I came home from the Peace Corps, so at most I will have the past 4-5 years. Flaco has only been in the country for 5 years (or it will be 5 years the day after our home inspection on 10/18). Consuelo will check on how to handle Flaco’s situation. I hope I can find all these W2’s!!
     - We need copies of our car and home owner’s insurance (this is the easiest thing!)
     - We both need physicals, which Consuelo will set up with their doctor after the home visit (bleck!).
     - We need the most recent vaccination records for the animals. This means, we need to take the cats to the vet for their vaccinations and I need to check on Canela (the dog) to see if she is up-to-date (I’m pretty sure she is, we took her in last December for her shots).
     - We need to have all the things done in the house, like a 5 lbs fire extinguisher, covering the electric sockets (this we have done), have fire alarms on all floors (we need to put batteries in the ones up-stairs and we need to get one in the basement), all cleaning products and chemicals should be locked up or put up high or put in the basement, all medications must be under lock and key, we need to get the room cleaned out for the baby (we now have a pack-n-play purchased from someone at my work, a pink covered car seat and walker given to us by a friend of a friend from work, and we picked out a convertible crib that my mom will purchase for us  - it also has an attached changing table/night stand). 

     So, that is all that stands between us and our baby. I am freaking out about the W2’s and the animal vaccinations. Most everything else I think we can handle. I hope Flaco will take his autobiography seriously and actually write it. I think it would be ok if he dictated it to me and I type (read – edit) it. At one point Consuelo did tell me it needs to be in English, which Flaco will not be able to do. Oh, well we will figure it out! But, until we get the final stamp of approval, I think I will be in freak-out mode! I just want us to be approved without any lingering issues. I want to get us on the list so that our baby gets to us sooner, rather than later. I am not letting myself get too excited because I feel like we still have a long way to go in this process. 

     On Sunday, after my parents got done at the local out-door market (my father grows and sells organic poultry and eggs and my mom helps him at the out-door street market on Sunday’s), my mom and I went to Baby’s-R-Us to look at cribs. We found one at a local  department store that was on sale along with a changing table and a little dresser when we were out shopping Friday night. This set is a cheaper quality and my mom was worried it would not hold up. So, at Baby’s-R-Us we found a convertible crib that has a changing table attached, better quality and a little more expensive. My mom wants to purchase this item for us. I know the second we know what age and gender child we will be getting, she will be out buying baby clothing like there is no tomorrow. My mom is so ready to be a grandmother. She wants to spoil this kid rotten. I did much better at Baby’s-R-Us than I did at the consignment sale last week. I did not freak out, but I still felt out-of-place and somewhat detached. The store wasn’t very full and I arrived there before my mom, so I walked around looking at the cribs and the adorable blankets and sheets and wall coverings. I thought wistfully of how different it might have been, if we were having a baby and could joyfully pick out all the cute little items we wanted for a registry. But, I concentrated on what we need, which is a crib/toddler bed for the baby. Consuelo said it was not necessary to have these things for the home visit, just so we can get them when she calls us with a placement, but I will rest easier knowing we are prepared. 

     Yesterday, my friend Sara from work (she has almost completed the adoption process for her little girl – she was the one who suggested CHOR to me), had a friend looking to give away a baby car seat and a walker. Both are covered in bright pink fabric. How could I say no to something free? So, I have the car seat in the back seat of my car. Because we were in a hurry when I got home from work yesterday (I got home around 4:45 and the interview was at 5), we did not remove the car seat from my car. It is so strange to see it there. The walker and pack-n-play are in the trunk of my car (with my birthday balloons, which I forgot to take inside). I feel like things are all upside-down and sideways. We have these random baby items, but don’t know when (or, at this point IF) we will be having a baby. It almost seems like a tease; we have things that remind us of babies, but we do not have a baby. 

     Flaco is worried about the “legal risk” situation. He is worried that we will have a baby placed with us and after a year or more the adoption will fall through and we will need to give up the baby. Consuelo admitted that this could happen and suggested Flaco prepare himself for that. I know that Flaco has worried about loving and getting attached to the baby – he fears he won’t be able to because the child is not his by blood. In fact, it took Flaco a long time to decide he was ok with adoption to begin with, so I know he is fearing falling in love with a child that might be taken away. I told him we need to just rely on God on this one, because it is something that is entirely out of our control. I know we have both experienced a lot of loss through our struggle with infertility – not that we had any miscarriages or anything, but the loss of our dreams of having a biological child was hard enough to bear. I pray that we have paid our pound of flesh, so-to-speak, and the adoption process will be as easy as the infertility struggles have been hard. I guess we will find out, one way or another. . . .