Friday, May 20, 2016

Procrastination and Poor Decisions


I’m tired of my period. Every month (or so) it rolls around and I think, “I really should call my gyno to talk about my period” and every month I don’t make that call. I haven’t gone to the gyno in over 2 years. I guess after all the infertility stuff I just sort of gave up caring. Nothing interesting is going on down there, so might as well ignore it. But, my periods are painful and heavy and if there were something to help with that I would like to be advised of its attributes. So why don’t I just bite the bullet and make that appointment? You mean, other than because I’m a dummy? Obviously, there’s the whole infertility implication. And that does sound stupid outside of my head, but I suppose I justify it by feeling the need to not be on display again as I was during our years of trying. I’m trying to regain some sense of propriety, in a very misguided way. Being divorced and single, I don’t see much action these days. Not to claim I’ve been totally celibate, but I’m not sleeping around and therefore, also don’t feel a need to have my cervix scraped once a year. Oh, but it isn’t once a year anymore! I was told the last time I was in to see my doctor she would only be performing a pap smear once every two years, since there was some study claiming yearly pap smears aren’t necessary. There’s also an added complication of my gyno and my mom being friends and former co-workers. I don’t know that they’re meeting up so often, but they used to get together in a group of previous co-workers once every other month. My gyno and I are Facebook friends and I’m pretty sure that makes me weird. Not that she contacts me about my girly stuff through Facebook and she’s a total professional, so I don’t worry that she shares things about me with my mom. The moral of the story is, I hate my period and would like to discuss my options with my health care provider so I need to get over myself and make an appointment.

 

Tuesday afternoon Primero informed me Hermano wanted to visit and was walking to our place from his foster family’s place. I was instantly worried because that walk is usually about a 30 minute drive. I wanted to try to find him but we had no clue the route he would have taken and his phone wasn’t working. So, we ran a quick errand and suddenly Primero’s phone was ringing. It was Esperanza’s roommate’s number but Hermano was calling. He wanted us to pick him up. We took him to dinner and he filled us in on things. The biggest bombshell was that he and his pregnant girlfriend had broken up and the girlfriend wouldn’t talk to him. Primero got upset at this revelation, demanding they get back together. I think it was a two-pronged prick to Primero – one, he had just broken up with his girlfriend the day before, so there was sadness over that, and two, he didn’t want his nephew to face the same fatherless childhood that he lived through. Hermano seemed rather blasé over the whole break up. But, he also seemed proud to be expecting a son, so hopefully they will work out some amicable agreement to parent their child. The other sad news Hermano shared was regarding his education. Because he has moved around so much, he won’t be able to graduate this year and in fact, he would be put in 9th grade based on the few credits he has towards graduation. According to what he said, it doesn’t seem like the school is willing to help him. And, I’m not sure what CYS is doing to help him either. He seemed to indicate that he would be moving out of his foster home when he turns 18, which is next week. I am watching a sad foster care statistic unfold before my very eyes – Hermano is aging out with little support, no high school diploma, a minimum wage job and a child on the way. It’s just down right heart breaking, especially to see it written so starkly in black and white. As we drove Hermano home he revealed his foster parents didn’t know he had walked half way across the county, they thought he was at the local park. He insisted they don’t care about him anymore and he doesn’t care either. He invited us to the baby shower that will be happening some time the beginning of July and stuffed the baby clothing I gave him into his back pack and lumbered away into the fleeing sunlight. Primero was uncharacteristically quiet the rest of the evening, although he insisted nothing was wrong.

 

Last night Primero informed me that Esperanza’s phone is broken. For Christmas, I bought her a cell phone and added a line to my account. Prior to that, her cell phone only worked with wifi connection and she didn’t have an actual phone she could use to make or receive calls. Obviously, I had no idea the fall out that would occur just a few months after Christmas, my crystal ball was a bit cloudy and I foolishly thought things would carry on as they had been previously. I was wrong, very wrong. Things went sideways and I’ve been stuck paying for a phone for someone who thinks I should eat shit and die. When Primero delivered the pronouncement of the damaged phone, all I could do was shrug and mutter how it didn’t really turn out as I had expected and I regretted my decision to rope myself into this two year contract. Primero got defensive and I got busy with giving the little ones their bath. I know nothing can happen to my account unless I authorize it and I’m fine with authorizing Esperanza to purchase her own phone or whatever else might come along. But, that would require a conversation with me and not having Primero in the middle, as he always has been. Primero cannot fix the phone nor can he authorize any changes to the account. I have a feeling I’m about to be stuck with an extra line on my account and forced to pay some exorbitant disconnect fee and I wish I hadn’t been so trusting of things staying the way they were.   

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