Preconceived Opinion

Have you ever met someone after hearing a good deal about them from someone else and it colored your opinion of them? My friend has talked to me about one of her friends and how she has parented her child, now a recent high school graduate. The most recent incident involved the mom putting her young adult son’s business on Facebook in an attempt to “help” him. I agreed with my friend that this wasn’t the best way to deal with the situation but I didn’t realize just how much this and previous conversations about her would sway my opinion of this friend of a friend. We met up from some drinks after work because it was my friends birthday. Her other friend was there and when she started talking about her son I felt my dander rise. I listened and kept my mouth shut. That is, until she spoke to me directly. My friend made some mention about my kids and this other woman’s response was, “And how’s that working out for you?” in a tone that made it sound like I made the choice to bring a wild bear home with me. Clearly she feels like being a mother ruined her life. I don’t feel that way. In fact, at that point I would have much rather been at home snuggling my kiddos than sitting on a barstool being provoked to defend my choices. Fortunately, I didn’t take her bait. I mumbled something about things going well and engaged someone else in conversation. Would I have felt differently about her question if I didn’t know about her parenting blunders? Would I have laughed off her comment as joke if I wasn’t already irritated hearing her complain about her son? Maybe? I guess I won’t ever know. At least I don’t see her that often so it’s easy for me to forget all about her and what she said.