Wednesday, September 26, 2018

Imperfect Perfectionism


This past weekend I painted my bedroom. It sounds like a minor thing, but my bedroom was the only room in the house that has never been painted. My ex-husband painted our bathroom, living room, kitchen and what is now Chica Marie’s bedroom but we could never agree on a color for our bedroom. So, it stayed white. Even after he left, I didn’t paint it. I’m not sure why I didn’t, I just never made it a priority. I lived with the primer white walls for a long time; twelve years to be exact. So, after completing the bathroom project I was anxious to begin painting my bedroom. I chose a plum-mauve purple color, moved things out of my room, taped around the ceiling and trim and painted all day on Saturday. I completed the job the same day and was mostly content with how it looked. I’m not the greatest painter and a lot of the tape was not straight so the lines are not crisp as I would like them to be and my perfectionism reared it’s ugly head. I am displeased with how my room turned out because when I look at it all I see are my mistakes. The issue is compounded by not being able to find new bedding and curtains to my liking, so the room is unfinished. As if that wasn’t enough, I asked Primero to help paint the ceiling because I could not reach it and well, he didn’t take the same care I would have while painting so some of my furniture has new white freckles and there are unpainted spots on the ceiling. He also managed to get white smudges on the newly painted walls in various places. The whole thing makes me cringe, to be honest. My perfectionism rearing it’s ugly head. I keep trying to tell myself it’s a work in progress, that all the things I see as mistakes and errors can be fixed. I’m just not so sure I have the ability to fix things. Maybe if I use a ruler instead of the stupid tape? A smaller brush and get a ladder that makes reaching the ceiling easier? I don’t know. I’m just massively disappointed at the moment because the picture in my mind’s eye is not coming to fruition. Mostly, I wish I had just let it go. White walls aren’t all that bad, right?  

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