“Honestly adopting kids is something I’ve always wanted to do. Yes having your own baby is beautiful, and I would wanna experience it. But I feel like taking someone in who don’t have no one so they can feel loved is so outstanding and
is just as pure, ya feel.”
My cousin posted this on her Facebook page. Besides the atrocious grammar issues, it really rubbed me the wrong way. In light of November being National Adoption Awareness month I decided to not scroll on by and let it go. Instead I said
the following “I understand the sentiment of this, however there are some difficulties in what is said. One, my children are my own. We don't share biology, but they are my children. Two, they are not "someone who don't have no one" this makes them sound like
stray animals. They were not unwanted or unloved before they came to me. It's more complicated than that. The "outstanding" and "pure" feeling is probably not how adoptees would describe adoption. It is much more complex. The thing no one includes in quotes
is the loss. My children suffered a terrible loss when they came to my home. It shouldn't be over-looked. Sorry, it's national adoption awareness month and I just wanted some reality to be attached to a quote like this....”
She didn’t respond, which doesn’t surprise me, but I think if anyone is going to promote adoption they should do it with their eyes wide-open to reality. There are beautiful sides to adoption but there are also hard truths that can’t be
overlooked. I love my children, I’m glad they are my children, but in order for that to happen they had to be removed from their mother and that should never be forgotten.
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Brava! I'm so glad you did that. When we have more knowledge, we need to speak out.
ReplyDeleteMaybe send her a wee note thanking her for her kind thoughts anyway? Because she meant well, even if she was misguided.
It was good that you said something to help her understand adoption better but I also wonder if you could have added something positive along with your message because I think she was well meaning even if ill informed. Something like, "it is wonderful that you are considering adoption in your future.."
ReplyDeleteI am clapping my hands. I cringe whenever I hear an "adoption is wonderful" or "adoption sucks" message, because, as you say, something so complicated can't be summed up with just one brush stroke.
ReplyDeleteGood for you.