Still Not Getting Over It

Yesterday I wrote about our Fourth of July because I was trying to let go of some of the things said. But, I just can't seem to get it out of my head. Like millions of tiny little cuts, the things said still sting. My aunt bragging about taking her granddaughter to swimming lessons not long after my mom declared my kids aren't even welcome at her house. My cousin insisting she will raise her kids to be uber polite, sir and m'am the whole nine yards. I guess because my kids weren't polite enough? My mom's comment, the one she didn't think I overheard, about how wild my kids were compared to the quiet boy. And her clear desire for children to be more seen and less heard. I don't think the kids know or understand much of this, at least I hope they don't, but I won't be able to keep them sheltered from it forever. The reality is, I shouldn't have to. I'm not talking about John Q. Public at large, I am talking about my family; the people who are supposed to be my rock, my sanctuary. And instead, they are the source of some of my greatest pain. My children deserve unconditional love. Unconditional, meaning it doesn't matter how they act or what their background is, they are still loved and they know they are loved. Evidently, my children can only be loved if they are obedient. My mom shared the car story with probably the only person who didn't know about it. I am not saying my children are perfect or don't need discipline, but, contrary to popular belief, I don't allow them to act out without retribution. But, I can't punish the ADHD out of my kids. I can't correct away the autism diagnosis from Love Bug. And, in fact, often times hard-nose disciplining can have the opposite effect for children with ODD. I am not claiming to be a parenting expert but I have read enough books and taken enough training to give me a lot of ideas on how to parent my children and their unique needs. It would be super great if people, rather than offering judgment or criticizing, would try stretching their compassion to see we are all really just trying our best. Honestly, I am considering just not coming around because my kids deserve better.