Flaco announced this morning that he has decided he would like to move forward with adoption. I am both happy and sad, relieved and terrified, excited and disappointed. There are so many emotions! Flaco said we can start looking right away, so I am going to contact the woman who my friend from work suggested. I am fairly certain we are going to use the state agency, but I am also checking out some other options. I've looked at possible funding options for private adoption and would consider applying for financial aid. I dread the home study and the poking and prodding at our lives and our motives, but it can't be any worse than the testing and waiting and hormonal medication I have endured with infertility treatments.
I don't know if anyone else has gone this route and how they felt when they decided to give up on forcing broken parts to reproduce, but is it normal to feel so happy and disappointed at the same time? I am excited about being a mother, about welcoming our baby home. But, I am sad to have to miss out on the steps most mothers go through when having a baby. I won't be getting ultrasounds and listening to a heartbeat. There won't be any birthing classes or visiting of birthing centers. But, we will experience the joy of caring for our special little one, sharing our lives and teaching him/her all that we know. This is not the way I would have chosen things to go, but I am content with the decision we have made. I am ready to move forward. But, I am also very open to advice! What has worked for others and what pitfalls would you suggest we avoid?
I am so excited for your new journey! I know it is a little bittersweet, but you will be elated when your little one comes home. I have not gone through adoption myself, but know others who have. I will ask advice.
ReplyDeleteIt is so nice that you have come to this decision together and are already being smart about how you go about it. Best of luck! I"ll be following your new journey!