Nesting

I’m nesting. That is what I decided last night when I was on my hands and knees ferociously scrubbing the kitchen floor after thoroughly scrubbing the floor in the baby room, including under and behind the bed and crib. I have this insatiable need to get things in order, to be prepared with a clean and orderly house and all baby paraphernalia in its place. Although I have never been pregnant, I imagine I would be doing this type of thing as my due date loomed ever closer. I’m sure I would be fluffing pillows, washing receiving blankets, checking the stock of diaper rash cream, baby Tylenol, wipes, bottles, and making up the crib with fresh clean sheets, etc. In another life, this is how I envisioned the whole turn of events. So, I guess it makes sense that I am doing all of that minus the baby bump because I am expecting a baby; I don’t know when, I don’t know how (the circumstances surrounding how the baby gets to me), but nonetheless, I am expecting a baby and therefore I must be prepared. I’m stripping my cloth diapers so they will be nice and tidy. Last night I finished cleaning and organizing the baby room, so the floor (before Flaco left he ripped out the rug and put in a faux wood floor, so I wash it by hand or, mostly, with the steam cleaner) is washed, including under and behind the crib and behind the bed. The bed and crib have fresh new sheets and I washed the comforter and throw pillows and extra blankets too. I organized all the baby and toddler clothing, so it is easier to find whatever I might need. The kitchen floor is clean, although I still need to clean out the kitchen cabinets and throw stuff away or donate unused items. Then the bathroom and living room are on my agenda with my bedroom (as always) last to get this frenetic cleaning and purging. If I get all this done and still have no child in my home, I think I will turn my attention to the closets followed by the basement. Too bad this nesting thing doesn’t come along more often! And what is so strange to me is that I did not feel this way before the first placement. Maybe I didn’t really believe it would happen, that we would get a placement. Maybe I didn’t prepare like this because I didn’t know how (first time moms might prepare less than second time moms because they don’t really know what to expect or really know what they will need? – just a theory…).  Perhaps there was something in my psyche that told me it just wasn’t going to happen – a premonition for what was to come? Regardless, I never felt the need to knuckle down and get everything prepared as I do now. I just want to be able to say “Yes!” and not think in the back of my mind, “Ugh! But, I need to do this and clean that and this thing really isn’t ready…..” I want to say “Yes!” and then throw open my doors and welcome in my baby and anyone else completely unabashed and uninhibited – anyone and everyone can waltz through my house and I will not be cringing and hoping they don’t see that stray dust bunny in the corner or that smear of something on the kitchen floor. So, I will spend more time tonight getting the house neat and tidy, ready to pass the white glove test! Nesting, adoption style!