Resident of the Year

Yesterday was a good day. After work I picked Primero up at camp and we went home for a hot minute (literally, it was crazy hot out yesterday - 94°) then went to the end of school year banquet at CHOR. Before we went there, I had a conversation with the mother of a friend of Primero’s because he was invited to an end of school year anime party on Wednesday (today). The friends mother agreed to pick Primero up at camp and keep him until I could pick him up after work. Primero wanted me to just let him go without ok-ing it with his case worker. Nope, sorry I can’t do that. As much as I wanted him to go, I didn’t want to jeopardize anything with the county by giving permission that is not mine to give. Call me an over-cautious anal Annie if you will, but I don’t think I could handle it if I did something wrong and the county took Primero from me…..  At the CHOR banquet we spoke to his case worker and, while I fully expected to have to strong arm her into agreeing, she easily gave the go-ahead and Primero happily text his friend the address of his camp, confirming his attendance at her party. When I expressed surprise at the ease with which the case worker agreed to the arrangements, she said, “Things are different now. The county isn’t as strict now that the paperwork is in.” I’m guessing she means the PLC/agreement to adopt paperwork. It’s both nice and somewhat strange to see the county/CHOR backing out of our lives.

 

At the banquet all the children were recognized for one reason or another – academic success, personal success, or extra-curricular activities. The case workers also each nominate a child for resident of the year. Much to his surprise, Primero was nominated by his case worker and then voted as the Resident of the Year. His case worker wrote a lovely blurb about why she nominated him which they put in a frame and gave to him. This is what it says: 

 

"I am nominating Primero for Resident of the Year.

 

He came into placement after going through many unpleasant experiences in his young life. Despite these, he has been strong enough to face them with a big contagious smile on his face. He has proven to be a resilient young man who captivates others with his colorful personality and excitement about his favorite things in life. Primero is very talented and artistic; he loves to sing and make amazing drawings. He is very sweet, easy to love and caring towards the people he loves. He stands up for himself and knows he deserves the best as he give his all to those whom he cares about. Although he has had some academic struggles, Primero has come to the realization that school is important and is learning the significance of being academically successful in order to achieve his future goals. He had applied himself at school and is giving his best effort by completing school assignments, joining the track team and other extracurricular activities.

 

Fate and good grace eventually paired him with the most amazing foster parent he could have...someone who gets him, understands him and truly loves him. He is on a journey to find himself and with the help of his soon to be adoptive parent he will surely get there." 

 

 As you can imagine, it had me teary eyed as the case worker read this before the group. He also got a plaque and a $100 Visa gift card. So, it was quite a successful night for him! And I couldn’t be prouder. I know he has a bright future and I feel like now he can actually concentrate on achieving his best, rather than worry about his home life.

 

For me, the day was a good day because of how happy Primero was but also because I received good news too – the two potential infant referrals. Even though I don’t want to dwell on it (who am I kidding?!) and the end results could be mean disappointing heart-break, it makes me happy to at least have something brewing. And it’s not like before. Even if the county finds someone else for both babies, I still have Primero and that means the world to me. Still, it’s hard to not think about how wonderful it would be to “have it all” – ok, not quite all unless my Prince Charming comes riding into the picture – but my life would feel complete with my son Primero and a brand new baby brother or sister. It would be absolute perfection in my book! Think good vibes, happy baby thoughts!

 

Of course, I am struck by the juxtaposition in this situation – my happiness is dependent on someone else’s tragedy. I joyfully receive what someone else will painfully lose. I am fully cognizant of this give and take and sometimes I feel guilty for being party to the whole debacle, but life is full of good and bad. I never asked to have fertility problems, it was a genetic defect dumped onto my lap. I am not asking for these mothers to feel the razor-sharp pain of losing their brand new baby to the system, but if they are deemed unable to provide for these precious little babies I will gladly take on that role. Despite the pain of the biological mothers, my joy would know no bounds if I were chosen to be the foster mother for one of these little treasures. Oh these babies are going to consume my thoughts until I hear of their fates!