Mum Mum Mum

Primero’s sister spent the weekend with us again. Saturday morning Chica Marie had therapy, so we had to get up and take her there. Her sister was away on vacation, so she did not attend the session. The therapist told me mom was on the way, so we left to run some errands, like ordering Love Bug’s birthday cake and getting a money order for me to send for my name change paperwork. When we got back the therapist asked me to come upstairs with her and Chica Marie. She explained that mom never showed. She said she knew court was coming up this week and while she doesn’t attend court, she will write a recommendation that the children not be returned to their mother at this time. She said the sessions are so chaotic that she can’t even work with the mom and girls to do the PCIT therapy as the treatment plan states. She definitely noticed a difference in Chica Marie when her mother was not there, how much more calm she was and how she was less defiant and listened better. She said any future therapy sessions are dependent upon the decision the judge makes at court. I would be oh-so happy if they would just discontinue these Saturday therapy sessions.  

After the therapy session we took the kids home to nap. Then we spent the rest of the afternoon at the pool. Unlike all previous times we went swimming, this time Chica Marie was really into it and even started putting her face underwater all on her own. Love Bug also began splashing more and kicking in the water. And, he has begun saying, “Mum mum mum.” Primero’s sister heard him say it Friday night, but I didn’t hear it. When I went to get him out of his crib Saturday morning, he put his arms up and said, “Mum mum mum.” I got all teary eyed and scooped him up to kiss his sweet cheeks. Now, when he’s crawling around the house looking for me he’s saying, “Mum mum mum mum mum” like a little song. It’s so precious. 

So, I found out from Primero’s sister that his girlfriend almost broke up with him. She is planning on working for the same organization that hosts the summer camp and apparently she was told she couldn’t be in a relationship with anyone else attending the programs. So, she told him they would have to break up but somehow he talked her out of it or something. He didn’t really want to share too many of the details because he knew my reaction to the whole thing would be negative. And it is. I mean, seriously, who does this chick think she is? She has a baby with some other boy and expects Primero to hang around and still date her. She kisses this other boy during one of his many visits to her house and she still wants Primero to hang around and be her boyfriend. She got angry with Primero because another girl at the after school program told him she likes him and he didn’t tell the girlfriend about it, so she was upset. And now, after all this, she tells him they have to break up because she can’t date and work in the summer program. I want to smack her. I’ve tried to be supportive of Primero making his own decisions, but this is ridiculous. Who deserves to be treated this way? He is loyal to a fault and she’s just using him. He invited her to Love Bug’s birthday party but her mother won’t let her attend because she doesn’t like me. I’ve offered to have his girlfriend and her baby spend time with us – like going to the pool or walking around the mall, but her mom won’t let her. Seems like her mom is trying to put the horse back into the barn by being super strict with her now that she’s had a baby. Too bad all this protectiveness wasn’t around last summer when she got pregnant. I really wish she would just break up with him. He seems to spend most of his time flirting with guys anyway. And he sees no problem in that. He insists he’s not a cheater, but I believe he is skirting very close to it. 

Lately I just feel like I’m messing everything up. I feel like I can’t do anything right. I’ve been doing this 21 day Beachbody fix to start losing weight for my sister’s wedding next July and I hate it. I have to exercise every day and eat certain quantities of certain foods and I hate it. Most days I manage to stay on track and not eat anything unhealthy, but Friday night’s I don’t cook, we go out to eat, so what do I do? I eat a delicious bacon cheeseburger, which is not an approved food. This past week I have managed to work out every day but I can’t always do all of the exercise moves required and I feel like such a fat, hideous slob for it. Primero’s sister thought we fought more because she was around but I didn’t even think we were fighting (other than Primero getting pissed off when his sister and I were talking about his girlfriend and all of that). I just get annoyed with him about things – like pulling apart a drawer to get the Seran wrap and not putting things back like he found them so when I opened the drawer it got stuck. Stupid, I know. Most of the time with him I feel like his personal taxi and bank and that’s about it. Last week I took all of his electronics because he was being disrespectful and he didn’t see it. I know I yell too much in the mornings because of the pressure of getting us all out the door on time. I know I’m too hard on myself to keep everything in the house a certain way (how does the mail pile multiple overnight I ask you?) and that I should find more joy and levity in everyday things, like Primero’s sister getting locked in that bathroom at three in the morning because the mechanism in the bolt broke. I let too many things drag me down, like not being able to shower because Primero and I pulled the old broken shower curtain down and the new one won’t stay hanging from the ceiling. Or that the faucet in the bathroom leaks so bad there’s a puddle under it in the basement. Ugh! Life isn’t easy, not one bit. And sometimes I just wish there were someone to help me out with all of these nuisance issues. My dad does help but he has such limited time I feel bad even asking. And I know it bugs my mom when I do. I guess, as long as I’m drawing breath, I have a lot to keep working on…..