Reversion

I found out last week, when our CHOR case worker was visiting that the family who has Chica Marie’s older sister has decided to keep her, rather than follow through on their 30 days’ notice. Apparently, they have also agreed to be an adoptive resource for her as well. Wow! What a 180 from a month ago! I don’t mean to be, but I am skeptical at this latest turn of events. In my interactions with the foster mother and her adult daughter (who is a decade or two older than me, I might add), they have been overwhelmed with the older sister’s behaviors and were more than happy to have her removed. Even the last time I saw them, they indicated it had been 30 days and she was still with them, as if to say their patience has run thin. I don’t know, I guess it’s just the sense that I get with things. I’ve been wrong before and I hope I’m wrong again. When the bio mom mentioned it to me (this all happened at the last Saturday therapy session), she was angry and wanted nothing more than for her daughter to be removed from that home and placed with her mother. It doesn’t sound like that option has been revisited. She did indicate that her mother planned on taking the older sister to the baby’s birthday party.

On Friday I had to take Chica Marie to an intake session for her new therapy. Because the new therapy group was leery of having just me bring her in, the CHOR case worker asked bio mom to attend so she could sign all the medical documents. I was not looking forward to this session at all. Fortunately, bio mom is ok with me so I didn’t have to worry about all of that. Unfortunately, she looked like she was under the influence during the session and she minimized most of Chica Marie’s behaviors, sometimes even negating what input I had given. When she took Chica Marie to the bathroom (which apparently she isn’t allowed to do by herself – I only found this out after the session when I reported everything to the CHOR case worker and her previous therapist), I told the intake therapist the things I could not say in front of the bio mom, like the fact that the county is trying to suspend her visits. I also mentioned she looked high, but the therapist said she couldn’t tell from the sunlight since bio mom was sitting in front of the window. Bio mom was invited to participate in the therapy, which seems contradictory to me due to the push for no visits. I was texting the case worker while the intake was occurring because it was so discombobulated. I know she forwarded my concerns along to the county worker but I haven’t heard what, if anything, has been done.

In other news, I found a way to get my name changed back to my maiden name. I’m excited and yet I’m not. I will be glad to be rid of Flaco’s last name because I feel no ties to it. But, by changing my name I’m letting the world know I’m no longer married. I still don’t say the “D” word so I’m hoping there won’t be a lot of questioning as to the change from co-workers and whatnot. I know there are plenty of women who get divorced and keep their married name, but I just don’t see any reason to keep it. If there were children with the last name or if I had gotten some form of special recognition with that name on it, I could see keeping it. But, barring those situations I don’t see a need to hang onto a name that just isn’t mine. Plus, it’s a name from a culture that isn’t mine. So I will take up my 13 letter moniker again and get a hand cramp signing my name.