I saw this post with a list of 10 ways the author is rocking motherhood. She took the idea from
a previous blog and invited, just as the original one did, us readers to post
our own list. It’s important, in a world of mommy wars, to be reminded of how
much we do that positively affects our children. As anyone who reads my blog
knows, I’ve been struggling mightily with my middle child, my only girl and
resident badass. I spend most of my non-moming time thinking of all the ways I’m
screwing up with her and evidently not meeting her needs. Too often I’m trapped
thinking about what I need to do better so she cannot press my buttons and our
merry-go-round of insanity can finally end. I sat and tried to think of ten
ways I’m rocking motherhood. I came up with just one.
I am always there.
I am there when my children are sleeping and when they get
up in the morning. I am there to take them to school and pick them up at the
end of the day. When they are sick, had a bad dream, or need to talk about the
latest drama, I am there. I go to their sporting events, their plays,
parent-teacher conferences, IEP meetings, graduation ceremonies, art events and
any other opportunity to show up, I’m there. I suppose, to some, that doesn’t
seem like a big deal. But, my kids didn’t always have that predictability,
their parents were not always readily available to them physically or
emotionally. But, I am. I am there for them in big ways and small ways; from
the skinned knee to the broken tooth, from the sibling spat to TPR – I am
there. I am there when Primero needs advise on relationships. I’m there when
Chica Marie needs to be tucked into bed at night. I’m there when Love Bug wakes
up every. single. night. and calls for me. I mess up in a lot of ways on a
daily basis. But, the one thing my kids can count on, as long as I am drawing
breath, I am here for them.
Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.
I think you hit on a super important, #1 item. As a reader of your blog (and trying-to-wait-patiently-for-our-first-placement-hopeful-Foster-Parent) I can throw out a few more ways in which you seem to be rocking motherhood:
ReplyDelete- You truly demonstrate the importance of family. You have opened your heart to Primero's family, and to CM and LB's family, too. You reach out, you go out of your way, out of your comfort zone, so that your kids maintain relationships with their bio family. I think that there are very few people in this world who can do it like you do. It's not always comfortable, it doesn't always go well, but you put yourself out there. I really admire you for it. I hope I can do what you do.
-Empathy. Going along with this, you model empathy for your kids. You try to make things as fair and as good as is reasonably possible for the younger kids' Grandmom, and also for Primero's family. You could be "My Way or Highway" but you're not.
-Priority. You put your kids as the top priority. You spend your time with them, your world has other aspects like work, your parents, dating, etc, but your kids get your top priority and attention.
-Resilience. You demonstrate resilience and persistence to your kids. You don't give up! You get knocked down, delayed, told No, and you keep on going. You do not give up on your dreams or your beliefs. And I know that no matter what, you're not going to give up on your kids. That is priceless.
-Adaptability. You know how to roll with things, you adapt to the situation, you find a way to get it done. You're good at dealing when things go sideways (cars break down, demands change, etc.)
There is my quick list. Give yourself a TON of credit- you are rocking this much more than you see right now. You have a teenager and two little ones, and that would stretch any mom, without adoption and foster care! You are doing this! You are giving your kids love, consistency, stability, safety. If everything went as planned, well, we'd all be living in a different world, LOL! You ROCK!
I am in tears. I don't even know how to respond to the simple fact that you took so much time and effort to write to a complete stranger to make sure she knew she wasn't a total mess-up failure. Wow! All I can say is THANK YOU, thank you from the bottom of my heart.
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