By Any Other Name

I’ve written before about changing Chica Marie’s name after the adoption. I’ve read about adoptee’s and their views on changing their names and it runs the gamut. Some are fine with the name change, some are not. Some feel it is inclusive, pulling them into their new families, whereas others feel it is another loss, disconnecting them from their first families. I’ve wrestled with it, I’ve talked to the case workers about it and I’ve even tried talking to Chica Marie about changing her name. Mostly, she seemed to think it was a game and any new name she heard she would offer up as a potential for her new name. But, I had it boiled down to three options. Option one was keeping her first and middle names the same, just changing the spelling of her first name. Option two was a different first name (different, but similar-sounding) but the same middle name. Option number three were two new names (the first name still being similar-sounding to her current name) and would give her the same initials as Love Bug, who is getting the same middle name as my father and brother. When working with her new child prep case worker, Chica Marie chose option number three. So, I’m now trying to incorporate her new name into our everyday lives. This is hard because we call Chica Marie by a nickname I gave her on her first respite visit when she wouldn’t tell me her name. She goes by her nickname at school and daycare as well. In fact, most people don’t even know her first name, they just know her by her nickname, which is not changing. For me, I like having the decision made. I can only hope that Chica Marie is ok with the change when she is older. If not, we will work on a solution together.

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