Bad Housekeeping

This post is going to make my cheeks turn red and burn with shame, but it’s been bugging me, so I need to get it out. Apparently, the last time the county worker was out to our house (the beginning of July) she thought the house smelled like cat urine and reported this to CHOR during a phone call regarding trauma testing for Chica Marie. Since our regular CHOR case worker is out on medical leave, her supervisor took the information and passed it along to me via email (also concerning the appointment for the testing).

 

Here are my issues with this:

 

1. Since it wasn’t brought to my attention when it happened and several weeks have passed, how am I supposed to know what she was smelling? Did a cat have an accident that we didn’t have a chance to clean up because we were gone all day and she was there waiting for us when we got home? Did it rain? Because, sometimes when it’s rainy the basement gets a smell that permeates the house and there really isn’t much I can do about it. If this was truly a problem, shouldn’t it have been brought to my attention more readily rather than let it, potentially, fester?
2. The county case worker is new to us. This was only the second time she came out to our house. The first time she came out she accused Primero of hitting Chica Marie. Now this from the second visit. Not a great start to our working relationship. Not only is she new to us, but she came into our home with us – meaning, we didn’t get a chance to clean up a thing before she set foot in the house. Any number of things could have happened during the day while we were not there that we would have handled had she not been there right in our face the second we got home. I mean, really!
3. It seemed totally accusatory since no suggestions were made as to a solution. Basically, she called us dirty. Gee, thanks. Hey, if you don’t like cats that’s fine! But, why take it out on us?
4. In her haste to point out my flaws as a housekeeper she forgot to keep in mind a few things. One, I’m a single parent working outside the home. I only have 24 hours in a day and roughly 9 of the 18 hours I’m awake are spent outside the home. An additional 4 hours before and after work are dedicated to getting ready to leave (that’s mean and 3 other humans) and making dinner the second I walk in the door. Once I am done doing the dishes and straightening up the kitchen I have barely an hour to spend with the kids and part of that time is gobbled up by bathing and preparing for bed. Would she rather my time be spent connecting with the children or making sure my house is white glove clean?
5. Way to hit me in the soft spot! Ouch! My house is not as clean as I would like it to be. There have been rare occasions in the past three years when my house has been clean to my standards. Why you ask? Because daily I have to decide between a perfectly clean house or my sanity and quality time with the children. I do have the children assigned tasks, especially Primero. But, hey guess what? THEY DON’T ALWAYS DO THEM, or don’t do them to my standards. Primero and I had a huge fight about the cats when I discovered he stopped changing the litter boxes as I had instructed. He was the one who wanted the additional cats (the ones we inherited from his sister), I felt that meant he should do the lion’s share of the work for the cats. Well, guess what? It didn’t happen like that and now those tasks are squarely back in my court. Oh, you think I should force Primero to do them or force him to give up a cat or two? Easier said than done! I have pleaded, cajoled, begged, cried, demanded, criticized and bribed Primero but still he resists. He would give up the cats. But, why should the cats risk death (because grown male cats aren’t always scooped up from the shelters) because Primero can’t get his act together? I do my best, but I am one person. One fallible person who has yet to figure out how to make my house stay clean without losing my sanity and have tried my hardest to come to terms with the fact that, as a wise friend put it, cleaning a house with kids is like eating an Oreo while brushing your teeth. But, please County Case Worker, tell everyone you know that you think my house stinks because that’s certainly going to help the problem!
6. Is there a concern that the children are dirty? Do the children smell like cat urine? I have numerous different therapists, case workers, and other professionals traipsing through my house on a regular basis, but this one chick has a problem? Hey, while we’re at it, you should know we have ants – it’s a problem I have had since I moved into the house and no amount of traps or poison or home remedies, prayer, etc. has convinced the little black ants to vacate the premises. They go away in the winter, usually. They like the kitchen sink in the kitchen and don’t bother with anything but the dishes, but you know – we have ants. And, if you really want to get on my case, the outside flower beds are disgusting, totally choked out by weeds and have been for a good portion of the summer due to rain, storms, and stifling humidity. So, if you really want to put me through the ringer, why not drag out all of my bad traits, like leaving clean clothing in the laundry baskets instead of putting it away as soon as it’s clean, or not washing the morning dishes before leaving the house. How about the dust bunnies under the couch or that stack of unopened mail sitting off-kilter on the kitchen counter? I mean, surely all of these things are potential issues for the children, right?  

 

Compelled by her supervisor and my snarky email back after the above revelation, the adoption case worker declared she smelled cat urine when walking into our home and wondered if we were having trouble with one of the cats. I really wish I had had the balls to ask her if she truly smelled cat urine or it was just suggested to her she bring it up since the email exchange occurred that same day. Instead I was defensive and irritated, which was only partially related to the cat urine issue, since I was agitated during a great deal of our conversation.

 

But, you know what? The county case worker did me a solid because that was just the motivation I needed to get the house cleaned. This past weekend that is all I did – I cleaned. From the basement up, I cleaned every nook and cranny. Primero helped me clean out the basement and we got rid of a bunch of stuff and rearranged things so it looks more organized. I bought 4 boxes of baking soda to absorb the odors in the basement and 3 different smelly things to make it smell nicer. I washed all the floors upstairs on my hands and knees and dusted the rugs with baking soda before vacuuming it all up. Seriously, the house has never been cleaner! I’m fairly exhausted and I don’t think the kids had the best weekend (well, other than going to the farm Sunday afternoon), but hey – the house is clean! At least for the moment….