You Look just like Your Mom

Everyone says I look just like my mom. If I have heard this once in my lifetime I have heard it a thousand times. There is no denying I am my mother’s child. My mother, sister and I sound alike on the phone. So much so that we confused even close family and friends when we all lived together. So, again there is an undeniable family resemblance. And it’s something I’ve taken for granted or even found irritating when I was younger. With the three kids I have now and hope to adopt, there will be no confused voices and no mini me’s. Most people in the general public believe Primero is my brother, partially because we don’t look alike and partly from how he talks to me I would assume. I’ve been mistaken for his aunt, cousin, sister and once a very old couple thought he was my husband (ermagawd!!!), but I don’t think anyone has assumed I was his mother. Luckily the little ones look like brother and sister, but they do not look like me, being of a different race than I am. But, Chica Marie calls me mommy and Love Bug is very attached to me, so while he doesn’t look like me, one can infer from our relationship that I’m his mother. Obviously, when you adopt a child, even if you adopt a child of your same race, there is little chance the child will have any family resemblance. Coming from a cohesive family where there is strong family resemblance I worry that (I gotta tell you, I have the hardest time saying this – just because no one is mine officially) my children will find it hard to never hear – oh you look just like your mom!  For me, I got over the visible difference with the previous children I had in foster care. All but Primero were a different race then me (Primero would argue that he is not “white” either he identifies with his ethnicity – but that’s another story for another time), so I’m used to the curious stares and occasional rude comments. But, I’m also a grown up and so I “get” things the children don’t yet understand. Just something that’s on my mind today……