Get My Goat

One of the things that really got my goat was the GAL’s near demonization of Primero. She stated that every time she has seen Chica Marie (which, keep in mind, has been twice at court) she is told how mean Primero is to Chica Marie. In fact, when we had court in the spring, Chica Maire reported that Primero hit her, thus spurring the GAL into making a call. My guess is she called the child line to report abuse because the county case worker talked to me about it. I was utterly flabbergasted at the time. The only thing I could think of was how they pillow fight and she keeps at him until he makes her cry. I know of no other instances where Primero “hit” her. The GAL wanted me to explain why Chica Marie would say such things about him. Um, how about the fact that she calls anyone mean who won’t let her have her way? Or maybe, she calls him mean because he won’t let her do the things he does? Because there is a major age difference. Primero is not mean to Chica Marie. He might get exasperated with her, but never mean.

 

When the Mobile Therapist was over last week and we were dealing with the massive melt-down, Primero popped up in the middle of things. His presence was calming to Chica Marie. He stopped what he was doing and spent time with her, hugging her, holding her hands, talking gently to her. She lapped up his attention, seeking his advice and his big brother wisdom. Oh how I wish the GAL could have seen them together! He was calm and gentle with her, trying to help her out of the behavioral whirlwind she was in. It worked, albeit temporarily, but it did work. She calmed down and almost re-engaged. I accidentally triggered her again just after Primero left to take a shower.

 

Last night Chica Marie was out-of-control. Once again, it was Primero’s calmness that helped soothe her so she could eat something for dinner. He was not mean, he was trying to get her to calm down. The night after Chica Marie heard from her sister that their grandmother was considering adopting her, it was Primero who talked matter-of-factly to her about what that would actually mean. He got down to her level, looked her in the eyes and explained how it would be different living with Grandma instead of in our home. She stood and listened to him, in a way she would not have listened to me saying the same things.

 

It hurts my heart to think the GAL, who has never even met Primero, would have such unfavorable thoughts about him. Her distaste for my son was evident in how she spoke about him and how she didn’t believe my incredulous reaction to her accusations. She wanted to use it as an excuse to block the adoption, to move Chica Marie to her grandmothers. Fortunately for us, the CHOR case worker was equally incredulous, citing many times seeing Primero in the big brother role, as a helper and role model. As far as I’m concerned, the GAL can go blow smoke. Her judgments are wrong. And it would be despicable of her to continue pushing Primero under the bus as part of her agenda to get Chica Marie with the grandmothers. I’m so glad the GAL is leaving. May the new one bring a better frame of mind to this case!