Monday, October 16, 2017

Sweet Sweet Fantasy Baby


A friend of mine at work caught me off guard one evening as I was leaving work. She said she had thought of me because her niece was having a baby she couldn’t parent. She was trying to find a family member to adopt her daughter, but had not been successful. My friend explained they thought a cousin who lost twins might take the baby, but she didn’t. My friend didn’t feel she was in a stable enough situation to take on raising an infant. I told her it was sweet of her to think of me and that I wished them all the best in this trying time. She later reported the baby was placed with a waiting couple over an hour away. Out-of-the blue my friend sent me a picture of this precious, beautiful baby and it threw me for a loop. I know she is trying to process this and I might be the only person she knows who has adopted a child, but I find it just a little inappropriate and slightly painful. It’s not as if I would even entertain adopting this baby for a whole host of reasons, but just the mere mention of it made me envision a tiny baby in our home again. I think if my friend had just made mention of it and let it at that, I wouldn’t be writing about it, but she took it a step further. She made it real by sending me a picture of the baby. Again, I think she might feel like she can’t share this with anyone else and I’m not angry about it, just mildly perplexed. The picture looks like one of those newborn photo shoots, so I’m guessing it was shared by the new adoptive parents. My friend made sure to mention they had until this coming week to change their mind. The timing of this interaction couldn’t have been worse, given all that has been going on with Chica Marie. To not emotionally unravel over this, I’ve envisioned the delighted adoptive parents and the opposing bereft mother; the sweet and bitter of adoption. And, I’m hoping my friend has gotten this all out of her system now because I have zero extra emotional energy to devote to such fantastical dalliances.

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2 comments:

  1. Some people think that if you adopt one child you'll adopt a myriad. Sorry.

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  2. Oh dear. The response I want to make is to ask your friend why she didn't adopt her? Because that makes as much sense as assuming you will, just because you have before. And I'm a little angry at her pressuring you by sending the photo, though I'll try to be kind and assume she didn't really mean to do so.

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