Overkill

When I went to see my family doctor for my adoption physical (it’s the only time I see my family doctor, honestly), he referred me to the weight loss clinic connected with the local hospital. Reluctantly, I went to the first appointment which was last week. During the screening phone call before the appointment, I was asked to decide if I was interested in the medication option or the surgery option. Really, I’m not interested in either options, but the medicinal route was less invasive and permanent, so I chose that option. During the appointment the doctor asked me a lot of questions, took some measurements and spoke to me about the possible medicines they prescribe. After listing the medicinal options, he went on to explain they ask that I am not trying to get pregnant while taking the medications and, because there are potential birth defects, they ask that I use two forms of prophylactics. As the doctor droned on and on about this, I heard myself quietly saying, “That seems like overkill for someone who’s infertile.” The words hung there in the air between us as their meaning penetrated the doctor’s mind. I say a flash of “did not compute” in his eyes before he mumbled, “Oh, you’re infertile. Oh, ok I didn’t know…” See, he heard me say I found out I had PCOS when I was going through infertility. I answered his “how many kids?” question with the answer, three. He assumed, incorrectly, that the infertility treatments resulted in three children. But, he was wrong. Painfully wrong. But, to my surprise, I didn’t feel the stinging of tears behind my eyes when I spoke the words that were in my mind. I felt detached, like I was stating any other true fact about myself, not one that causes me so much angst. Mostly, I just wanted him to stop talking about getting pregnant. It’s such a ludicrous thing and he just kept talking about it, as if getting pregnant were some easy thing. No, sir, it would take a miracle and I stopped believing in those a long time ago.

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