I’m a fan of social media. I like peeking into the lives of
other people, cheering their successes and lamenting their losses. But, this
time of year I hate social media. So many family Christmas pictures! With
matching outfits and adorable props! And I just can’t. I don’t want to sound
ungrateful for the life and family that I have, and maybe I will just sound
like I’m complaining, but geeze it’s not easy! I spend the holiday season
gritting my teeth and wishing it were over as much as I try soaking in every
last minute to remember it all. Sometimes it works out, but so often it feels
like a giant waste of my time. We got our Christmas tree yesterday. Primero
fought me tooth and nail to not get a real tree but I hate fake trees and
really doubt our ability to keep a tree decent in our basement from year to
year. So, a real tree it is. Primero was in a terrible mood putting up the tree
last night, growling at the excited children and locking them in Chica Marie’s
bedroom lest they interrupt his complaining. It was the total opposite of
Christmas cheer. The little ones did get to put a few ornaments on the tree
before being ushered off to bed, but it was not the Norman Rockwell Christmas I
dreamt of when I was trying to start a family. I wasn’t even there because I
over ambitiously decided to make two cookies for the daycare cookie exchange as
well as two food items for gifts for the daycare staff, the teachers and therapy
staff at Chica Marie’s school, and my co-workers. And, in the midst of my
madness, I took the little ones to see the Muppet Christmas Movie at a local
brewery, who offered free hot chocolate, cupcakes and the movie, so how could I
pass that up? So, when I finally sat
down last night, at 10:55, and had a chance to reflect on the day, I had tears
in my eyes thinking of how hard it is to squeeze out even the faintest of
family traditions. Mostly, I just wanted to get it all over with, since it’s
not like I could share family Christmas portraits on social media anyway. And,
even if I could, it would show Primero with a grumpy face at being forced/bribed
into the picture, exuberant Chica Marie, cherub Love Bug and an exhausted,
slightly peeved me. Bahumbug.
I'm so sorry you feel like this. My mother hated Christmas too - all the stress of getting everything done, then having to organise the children at the same time. She'd often refuse to put the Christmas tree up until Christmas Eve! (Until we got old enough to do it ourselves, once my father had got around to cutting cut down a tree/cut a branch off a tree.)
ReplyDeleteIt makes me wonder. Do many families actually have this perfect Christmas people dream of?
I feel like I did as a child, but perhaps my parents perspective might be different? I like Christmas, I just wish it were a little easier. As a single parent, it's the finances that usually stress me out the most.
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