Crisis Averted

Last night I was feeling sad and somewhat hopeless. This morning my stomach hurt and I had an overwhelming sense of dread, I was so sure something awful was about to happen any moment. I don’t struggle with depression or anxiety. The things I was feeling were temporary feelings, which I knew would pass. Everyone has a bad day every now and again, I am no exception. My feelings were mostly related to events that had occurred, thus expected reactions. I don’t have a mental health diagnosis, I cannot sit here and pretend to know what it might feel like to feel that sad, empty, hopeless feeling every single day. I have no idea how someone deals with the feeling of dread and doom looming over them day in and day out. Both biological families of my children have more than their fair share of mental health issues. Yesterday was a particularly scary moment with one of Primero’s loved ones. We rushed home to find an ambulance and three cop cars in front of our house. Thankfully, help was there and the crisis was averted. I’m hoping the help will be accepted but we learned the loved one had already signed themselves out of the hospital that same night, so I still worry.

 

After the ambulance and cops left, those of us left behind were in an awkward position. It was too cold to talk outside and one neighbor had already called and text me from all the excitement, so I invited them inside. Soon I was serving a piping hot cup of coffee to Primero’s mother, sitting on my couch. She had never been to my house before. And, as if the situation wasn’t already awkward enough, after crying about what a terrible mother she has been and accusing her children of not caring about her, she began talking about me as if I weren’t there. “I never said I hated this woman. Everyone thinks I do, they think I hate her, but I don’t. She did what I couldn’t do and you (Primero) have become the man you are today because of her.” She rambled on some more, reiterating the same sentiment. What does one say to such a thing? It was fairly evident that what she denied saying, she did actually say, but I wanted to believe she was sincere, so I thanked her for her kind words. Most of the time I wasn’t even sure she was talking to me, but I figured it was better to respond in some small way than not at all. It was not exactly how I thought my afternoon was going to play out, but at least the drama died down after the initial fear of the crisis was averted. Still, if I ever imagined Primero’s mother in our home, which honestly I didn’t, it would not have been how it was yesterday. It is strange, the situations I have found myself in because I am involved in two open foster-adoptions. God certainly has given me a lot of grace to handle all of it, that’s for sure. It isn’t always easy, but it is almost always worth it.