Boricua

Just before the new year the kids grandmother text me, telling me she was sending the number of Chica Marie’s Puerto Rican grandmother to me so we could communicate. The paternal grandmother was asking to FaceTime Chica Marie and Grandma wanted to leave that up to me. She must have also given the other grandmother my number because no sooner had we finished texting when a call from Puerto Rico appeared on my phone. The conversation was brief and strange because Chica Marie doesn’t speak Spanish and her grandmother doesn’t speak much English. The one thing the grandmother made clear was that she wanted Chica Marie to live with her, that she had tried to get her before and failed. She hopes to be able to come to the US to visit us soon. I translated for Chica Marie, who immediately became obsessed with her Puerto Rican grandmother, saying how she wanted to go stay with her (I did not translate that portion of the conversation). I have many more questions than answers about all of this. I wonder why Grandma didn’t put us in touch with one another sooner, for one. I don’t know what PR grandma knows about Chica Marie’s situation, but “getting” her isn’t really likely considering paternal rights have been terminated and she lives in a different country, thousands of miles away, which has sadly been decimated by a hurricane and not yet recovered. I don’t know the likelihood of her visiting, but would be amenable to meeting if she managed to get to our area. We haven’t heard back since the one call that night, so I don’t know how often she might be in contact with Chica Marie. It would be nice to have some communication with her paternal side of the family. And, I should really start teaching Chica Marie some Spanish so she can talk to them!

 

The secondary discovery was learning Chica Marie’s middle name is her paternal grandmother’s name. I thought it was just a name her mother chose because it’s Hispanic, but now it seems she chose it to include Chica Marie’s paternal family. The plan for when Chica Marie is adopted is for her first name to change to a shortened version of her current name and her middle name to change entirely. Now, I’m not so sure about it. I still like the idea of using the middle name I chose because it gives her a connection to my family by having the same initials as my father and brother and her brother (Love Bug). I like that inclusion. Of course, she will  be getting our last name, but that she might change if/when she gets married. Right now, I’m toying with the idea of giving her two middle names; her current middle name and the one I chose. And maybe just changing the spelling of her first name to eliminate the apostrophe. If nothing else, I’m grateful to know this information prior to the adoption so we can choose to honor both sides of her families.