Women's Empowerment Group

At the recommendation of my therapist and the family therapist Primero and I see, I joined a five week-long Women’s Empowerment Group. We had our first meeting Tuesday night and there are seven of us in the group. I am one of the youngest from what I can tell, but beside that one difference, there are many commonalities. There is another adoptive mom in the group, there is a woman who was adopted, there are several women who have been divorced and I think all the women have or are raising children. I was very emotional in the group, which I did not expect. We did an exercise telling ourselves we are enough and many of the other women felt like it spoke to them, they felt more content after the exercise, but I did not. And that made me so sad. I want to be enough, I want to feel like enough, but I do not feel like I am enough in most situations in my life. Before we did the exercise we talked about how we deserve to be happy or content. I want to be happy and content, but deserve? Do I deserve it? I’m not so sure. My logical brain says I do, but my emotional being points to all the reasons I might not be worthy or deserving. A few of the women commented on how strong I am and I acknowledged their compliments, but being strong is all I know. And I am tired. And I am lonely. And I want to be more than strong. We were encouraged to start small, one small thing to move us in the right direction. So, I bought a chai tea and iced coffee on my way home to surprise Primero. And I took a warm bath with Epsom salt to relax. Only, Love Bug would not go to bed and he ended up getting in the tub with me. He thought it was great fun but my bath was less relaxing than I thought it would be. I will be returning to the group again next week, but I am nervous about being so emotional again. Hopefully, I can keep it together.