Party Pooper

Late last month I got the bright idea to create a surprise graduation party for Primero because he told me he didn’t want a party after many months talking excitedly about it. I was bummed. When I talked to our family therapist about it she was very gung-go about me doing it as a surprise. I guess she thought he might be pleased to have a party despite his pervious refusal. So, I contacted his friend and we began planning. Only, then Love Bug was kicked out of daycare. And then things with Chica Marie got out of hand. I tried to keep up with the planning, but I struggled to find a place to host the party. Everywhere was just way out of budget. I was getting desperate, so I found a pavilion at a man-made lake nearby. Primero found out about the party from his friend not too long after we began planning. I asked him if he wanted us to cancel it before we really got rolling, but he said no. So, we continued.

 

 The next stress came with finding and making all the food and preparations. I figured, since he knew about it, Primero would lend a hand with some of the prep work. He refused. I was so stressed out last night, knowing I had to bake a cake and make macaroni salad after having the kids at a birthday party right after work. I managed to get all of the grocery shopping done with two very uncooperative kids. I had to pick Primero up at work, so I didn’t really have an opportunity to start baking and cooking until 9:30 last night. And I was already exhausted because Primero was out until midnight the night before and I only fell asleep after he was back home. In addition to the cooking, I also had to find serving containers and utensils and wash them, plus try to stick 6 bottles of soda in the full (and stupidly tiny) refrigerator. This is all after I get two grumpy children off to bed, of course. Primero got angry that I would ask him to adjust his plans to sleepover at his friend’s house. He refused, in fact. He felt that the party was supposed to be a surprise, so why should he have to help out? I felt like he was being ungrateful and I really didn’t even want to have the party anymore. He sleeps over at this friend’s house all the time. Like at least twice per week. Why couldn’t it be a different night? Stupidly, I didn’t give up so the cheesecake is made and the macaroni salad too. The back of the van is loaded with non-perishable items and I need to pick up the rest after work. But, I am over it.

 

I try too hard, I do too much. I should have just listened to him when he said he didn’t want a party. I thought he had changed his mind because of how things went at his graduation and how it seemed like the two sides of his family simply could not celebrate him together. I wanted to make a big deal of his graduation because I am proud of him and because I want to motivate him to keep moving forward. Instead, I am frustrated and resentful and all I want to do is get a good night’s sleep.