Expect the Expected

My family worker from CHOR called me yesterday afternoon to let me know that the county had chosen the other family for the two boys. I think this might be the first time I have gotten the "no go" response about a placement and didn't feel crushed. I won't say it is a total relief because it basically puts me back at square one in terms of actually getting to adopt a baby, but for once, I think the best decision was made.

So, Sunday the day after the older child's first visit with her relative was awful - the worst day I have ever had with her. I spoke to her therapist today regarding what I can do to help her through this and the therapist was flabbergasted that the child would be spending so many hours with a relative she hardly knew without a slower transition for it to happen. She also reiterated something she had told me a few months ago, and that is that she has been making recommendations to the county case worker for there to be more supervision during their visits with their mother because she has concerns that the child is learning a lot of her troubling behaviors from her mother. The therapist voiced her frustration that the county worker doesn't seem to share her concern or seem to be acting upon the therapists suggestions. I'm glad to have some more techniques to try to deal with this child's uncertainty in being shipped around and bounced from person to person regardless of how she feels or what she wants.

The therapist made a suggestion for me to work more closely with the relative to keep the child more on her schedule. There was a small incident that I noticed involving the the relative and her baby not being in a car seat riding shot gun when she pulled up to my house. I struggled with what to do and eventually decided to report what I saw to my CHOR case worker. The results are that the county worker is going to contact the relative and remind her that all children need to be in safety car seats. This is only going to tip the relative off that I am a snitch, since I was the only one who saw it and would have reported it. I only hope that it doesn't cause a rift between me and the relative or cause any kind of retaliation. Hopefully, nothing will become of it and all will be well that ends well.......