Busy, Busy Bees

Life has been so busy lately that I simply haven’t had a chance to write. Lots of things have been happening, but nothing really earth-shattering, thank goodness. We had a visit with Primero’s aunt and uncle on Labor Day. It was fine, but it really bugged me that they waited to invite “us” (really, they invite Primero knowing it’s kind of an all or nothing deal) until the last minute and so it meant changing the plans I had made with my family. And this caused some hurt feelings since the plans had already been made and then I announced we would be leaving early. Sigh. I don’t know how to get around this. I’ve expressed my displeasure to Primero that his family waits until the very last minute and I find that rude and also disruptive, but since the invite isn’t coming to me and really I have no way of asking for things to be planned in advance, I feel like my hands are tied. And I don’t like to deny Primero a visit since they happen so infrequently. Double sigh. I guess I really need a way to tactfully tell the aunt and uncle that we need a little more notice in order to plan a little better. The only issue is, I have no way of contacting his aunt and uncle other than through him. I guess I need to work on that. Maybe I will just send them a friend request on Facebook and see how they respond and try to open up some more dialogue with them. I would like to preemptive and have some protocol in place before the holiday season is upon us.

I fear in the future that Primero will always pick spending time with his biological family on the holidays and so maybe I'm a little clingy right now, hoping to squeeze in every last drop of time with him that I can. I guess that's stupid, but I know he has a preference for the family he's known all his life over the family he is going to be joining very soon. I can understand it, at face value, because he has more history with his biological family than with me or my family. But understanding and feeling are not the same thing and while I hope I have enough grace to bow out when that time comes, I'm sure it will break my heart into a million billion pieces.

We found out through the county case worker that Hermano had been trying to reach out to Primero. The county worker sent us a list of Hermano’s football games and the good news is that there is one very close to our house. The bad news is that Esperanza has her homecoming that same night and has asked Primero to attend with her. So, we are leaving the decision up to Esperanza. If they go to the homecoming dance I will most likely still attend the football game to give Hermano some support. I know Hermano has been having visits with his mom, but I don’t think he’s had much more interaction with his family and I feel bad for him. I’m not saying it wasn’t his own poor choices that put him in the current situation, but he’s still just a kid and I know that it’s hard being away from everyone who cares about you.

A few weeks ago Primero received a phone call from his mom. He said he didn't want to tell me about it but he made mention of it and so I asked for the full story. Apparently, they talked off and on for most of the day. She told him she was sad no one seemed to be bothering with her since she is living in a different county, but she's fine and trying to get herself in a better place. I worry that she uses Primero to soothe her self-doubt because she knows in him she will (almost) always find a sympathetic ear, unlike his oldest brother and Esperanza. Primero is forever faithful and forgiving, especially towards his mother. I offered to take him to see her, assuming it would be permitted by the facility where she is staying. He said she could get visitors but he didn't want to go see her. He said right now they are just talking over the phone and he felt like that was a good first step. I was surprised to hear him say that, but glad that he’s trying to put up some healthy boundaries to preserve his precious heart.

So, the daycare where Chica Marie and Love Bug have been attending for a year closed suddenly last month. My friend and her twin sister were the owners and they just decided they had enough being small business owners as well as full-time employees in other locations. I was so upset that they were closing but I reached out to the foster mom who used to baby-sit Love Bug when he was so teeny-tiny and where Chica Marie lived before moving in with me. She took the children in with no problem – except the financial piece changed. Because the children are foster children I get assistance through our local intermediate unit and only pay a very small co-pay for daycare. Unfortunately, because the other foster mom does not own a state licensed daycare the rate of pay was much less for her and less than half of her going rate. So, I had to make up the difference and it was a real struggle, so I had to move the children again. They started at a new daycare this past Monday and my co-pay is back to what it had been previously. My heart hurts for Love Bug because I know he is so clingy and needy and he won’t get the same coddling as he did with the other foster mom and her family or even at his previous daycare where there were fewer little ones. But, I suppose it will be good for him to get a little more independent and a little less clingy, so I’m sure it will be good for him too. Chica Marie is happier in a daycare because she has more to do, more friends and a structured scheduled she didn’t have at the foster home. The daycare is managed and owned by a pastor and his wife and they are very nice people. I’m happy with where the children are going now and glad I found this place. It was scary taking the kids to a daycare where I didn’t know anyone, but it worked out.

My van is getting fixed finally. This has been one stressful mess, but soon it will be over and for that I am grateful. The rental car I have right now is a Jeep Compass and I hate it. I hate how small it is, the design of the car, and even how it drives. I would much rather have my clunky old van back versus driving this car. Plus, I hate the nervousness of driving a rental car for an extended period of time. I worry about every little bump and maneuver. I’ll be glad to get my van back and take a load off my mind. And, if I ever get a chance to buy a new car you can bet it won’t be a Jeep Compass!