The Power of Positive Thinking

Recently, I have begun listening to “The Secret” on CD. For anyone unaware, “The Secret” explains the power of attraction and how our daily thoughts determine the destiny for our lives. Now, first let me state that I am not one to buy into the psycho-babble and mumbo-jumbo of a lot of those self-help  gurus. I am more simplistic and rooted in the physical rather than the metaphysical. Yet, this idea of “what we think about we bring about” makes sense to me. And, even more important to me, it makes sense given what I believe spiritually and does not deviate from what I have learned from the Bible (from what I have heard thus far, “The Secret” coincides with teachings in nearly all the major religions – I can only personally relate to the one I know). So, I am cautiously opening myself to learning about the infinite power of my thoughts and how I can attract what I want into my life. I haven’t bought the whole farm yet, but I have a good chunk of property and I am looking to build.
    Since the fall-out from last month’s disastrous round of Clomid, I have been feeling like there has to be more to life that this month-to-month cycle of doom. I felt like in the last two years I have lost myself because my focus was totally on what I was not getting. Last month I was emotionally out of control and spiraling down into the abyss of depression or worse. Once the Clomid relinquished it’s grip on my hormones and emotions, I could see how what I had been focusing on was not positive, but rather the immense fear that I would not be able to become a mother. Given my propensity for extremes, I then swung to the other side of the pendulum and I have spent this month denying the fact that I even wanted to be a mother. I tried to convince myself that I just didn’t care anymore.
     So, simply put, I need a new game plan. Enter “The Secret.” A few years ago I was introduced to the Passion Test through a workshop held at my work (other than making some good friends, that was the only good thing to come out of that lousy, thankless job). It is in a similar vein as “The Secret” and based on the book “The Passion Test” by Chris and Janet Atwood. The idea is to whittle down all that you think you want in the world to 5 passions and write them down. Then, when faced with a decision, choose that which is more oriented towards making your passion a reality. There were some exercises we did and I found it quite enjoyable if not a little hokey. I even bought the book. I stopped reading it when it was suggested I make a collage of all my passions, although I did manage to make not one, but three collages. I like art projects. I want to get back to this book, but I think I am going to read “The Secret” first since I am so fascinated  with listening to the CD. I am nothing, if not a very good day dreamer. And I can dream pretty darn big, if I don’t say so myself. Now, I must learn how to make my day dreams productive and find a way to actually believe in them (from what I have heard thus far, the belief seems to be the glue that makes the thoughts stick). According to the Passion Test on the website (http://www.thepassiontest.com/), that because I get upset and thrown off track frequently when unexpected situations and circumstances arise. I spend a good deal of my time attempting to force my model of reality on the world outside of me. It's hopeless. Life is always changing. It will never appear the way I think it should. As long as I try to impose my will on the world, I will only bring myself misery and suffering. The key to happiness lies in the recognition that life is my teacher. A certain humility is required (ha!). I must have to admit that I may not have all the answers (I know I have none, so there). As long as I argue with reality, I will lose and only 100% of the time. So, when I notice myself arguing, stop. Take a break. Allow myself to feel the feelings that are coming up. When they begin to subside, do things which help me feel more open, more expanded. Take a walk, exercise (yeah right), listen to musice, read a good book. Pretty dam accurate, no?
     I am not sure how this all plays out in the infertile world because it is such an all-encompassing affliction, yet I think it will do me some good to concentrate on sending out the good mental vibrations (I mean, even the Beach Boys agree). Good, good, good, good vibrations!!!  Oom bop bop good vibrations!!! Let me know what you think about my exploration into the power of the mind and “may the Schwartz be with you!”