This month

This month, I will not calculate when I may or may not be ovulating.
This month, I will not try to figure out when my due date would be, if I were to get pregnant.
This month, I will not time when we have sex and insist we make love even when neither of us really feels like it.
This month, I will not write down in my planner every time we have sex.
This month, I will not obsessively "look" for signs of pregnancy or impending menstruation.
This month, I will not torture myself by day dreaming of my baby in my arms.
This month, I will not imagine conceiving a baby when making love to my husband.
This month, I will not stare longingly at pregnant women or women with babies.
This month, I will not sob at the sweet little babies on the diaper commercials.
This month, I will not draft a nasty letter to the Clear Blue Easy company because my test never shows positive.
This month, I will not try to convince myself the spotting is implantation bleeding.
This month, I will not watch the show "I Didn't even Know I was Pregnant."
This month, I will not watch the show "A Baby Story."
This month, I will not sob inconsolably when I get my period.
This month, I will not get angry with God over being infertile.

This month, I will enjoy spending time with my husband.
This month, I will smile at a baby in her mother's arms at church, the grocery store, or at work.
This month, I will have sex with my husband when the mood hits me/us.
This month, I will laugh a little more and cry a little less.
This month, I will spend time doing something I like and makes me happy.
This month, I will take the dogs for more walks.
This month, I will count all my blessings.
This month, I will take care of my body by eating healthier.
This month, I will live my life.