Monday, July 18, 2016

Take me to Church


#Microblog Monday

When my mom broke her ankle and I was trying to help take care of her house and my own, we stopped attending church. It was the only way I could stay sane. Saturdays are often when we go out and have fun as a family or run errands that are too exhausting to do during the week, like go grocery shopping. That would leave Sunday afternoon for cleaning and laundry, but when I needed to dedicate Sunday afternoons to cleaning my mom’s house, I needed to find time to get stuff done around my own home and so church was the logical loser, in my mind.

 

Well, my mom is doing better and more able to get around and keep her house in shape, so I haven’t needed to spend long hours cleaning her place to keep her from going totally batty. Yet, we still haven’t returned to church. Getting out of a habit makes getting back into it very hard. We rush out of the house 5 mornings every week. Monday through Friday I am the task master, keeping all three cogs twirling in the right direction while simultaneously trying to look presentable when walking out the door. It is exhausting. I hate mornings. Finding one extra day when  we don’t have to rush, when I can make fluffy chocolate chip banana pancakes with eggs and bacon, and then sit and enjoy it with the kids, makes me a much happier mama. I do feel guilty about not being in church, but this glorious freedom is so hard to relinquish! Sunday’s have become our lazy, do-what-we-want-and-nothing-else day.

 

I know someday soon I will drag us out of bed and rush us out the door to sit dutifully in our pew, but right now I’m finding I lack the motivation to do so. Another slice of the problem pie is that I don’t feel attached to this church. Granted, I know it takes me a long time to actually think of myself as a member of any given church. I think I attended my previous church for over three years before I really felt I could call it mine. I know it’s me and not the church, but it certainly doesn’t help persuade me to add a sixth harried morning to our schedule.

 

The final issue regarding our church attendance, or lack thereof, is Primero. He simply doesn’t want to go to church and I simply hate going without him. I have it in mind to strike a compromise with him in which he agrees to attend once a month to stave off the questions of where he is and also to have him  be there for celebratory days like Easter, Christmas, and whatnot. The fight with him to go is just another reason why it’s easier not to attend. I know it’s lame because certainly me and the little ones can go, but at this point it’s fuel to the not-going fire. I’ll get it together, I’ll find the inspiration, just probably not this weekend….   

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2 comments:

  1. I hear you on this. We also have 6 mornings per week spoken for. It's hard to make it 7 mornings per week and never have pyjama days.

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  2. I've never been a church attender, so feel free to disregard anything I say. But I imagined you and your family relaxed on a Sunday morning enjoying your breakfast together, and feel that that is honouring your children and yourself and your faith as much as a fractious trip to church that the young ones won't understand, and the older one doesn't want to attend.

    Maybe church every two weeks or once a month would be a good compromise?

    Your pancakes sound yummy. But I've never understood why Americans would have eggs AND pancakes? Or is it eggs for you and pancakes for the kids?

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