That Gut Feeling

I’m finally voicing something that has been simmering in my heart. I have feared giving it air time would make it true, but that’s just a silly superstition, right? I may make mistakes in raising my kids or attempting to keep them too sheltered, but I try very hard to keep tabs on their siblings and allow for visits whenever possible. I very strongly believe that sibling relationships are one of the most important relationships you will have and therefore do as much as I can to keep those ties for my kids and foster kids. When we found out that the little ones grandmother was petitioning for Mini Momma, I was so happy for her. I was sad for Chica Marie because it hurt her to hear that Mini Momma was going to live with Grandma, but she was not. Still, I had hoped it would mean a stronger tie for the girls (and Love Bug) and an opportunity for my two, who are the youngest in their sibling group, to get to know more of their biological family. At court last month I heard how disappointed the magistrate was in hearing that Grandma hadn’t finished her homestudy. I always invite Grandma (and whatever family she chooses to bring) to the kids birthday parties. She wasn’t able to attend Love Bug’s second birthday party because she had to work. I then asked about a pool day, thinking Mini Momma would surely be moved in by then. Our pool day was last Saturday and Grandma text me to let me know she still didn’t have Mini Momma and that the weekend visits have been postponed. Grandma made it sound like the county was being unreasonable. Mini Momma’s foster mom made it sound like Grandma had given up. And in court it sounded like she was dragging her feet on completing the physical. I’m sure the truth lies somewhere in the middle, but here is my fear. Mini Momma is a handful and a half. She has the same behaviors as Chica Marie but she is a little older and a little more stubborn. Somehow, that seems to make things worse. I overheard Mini Momma’s foster mom telling the county case worker how much trouble she had been giving Grandma and my fear is that Grandma isn’t following through with her homestudy because she is having second thoughts. Oh the anguish she must feel! The last time we met with Grandma (and this was just after Christmas 2014), she begged me to take Mini Momma. Her hope was for stability and a permanent home. She actually asked me that day if I would adopt both children, should their case get to that point. And she nearly cried when I confirmed that I would. She admitted to wanting to take Mini Momma just so she wouldn’t keep bouncing around from foster home to foster home. She was in her 4^th home at that point. She is now coming up on her year anniversary in her current foster home – her longest stint since coming into care. I don’t know that this foster home would be a permanent resource for her (foster care speak for adoptive home), but at least it has given her some stability. I don’t know what the final outcome will be. My hope is that we can continue seeing Mini Momma and having her spend time with her younger siblings, no matter where she ends up. I also hope I am wrong in my thinking that Grandma is not moving forward because she is fearful and would rather make the county be the bad guys by disapproving her than admitting to herself and others the reason why she isn’t proceeding. And, please don’t read this as being derogatory towards Grandma! My heart aches for her because I know she loves her grandchildren. But, I also know how tough some of the kids broken by trauma can be and I would certainly rate Mini Momma as high on that scale! I know Grandma wanted to be there for her and I fervently hope and pray I am wrong! I hope to soon hear that Grandma has been approved and Mini Momma has been moved. May my gut feeling be simple indigestion and nothing more…..

#Microblog Monday

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