I had my annual gyno check up this morning after taking an
unintentional hiatus. I spoke with my nurse midwife (whom I’ve been seeing for
10 years or so now) regarding my mom’s suggestion to get a baseline mammogram after
I turn 35 in October. She agreed it would be a good idea but was skeptical that
my insurance would pay for it. She gave me the specific insurance codes for
high risk due to maternal disease and suggested I call my insurance before I
make an appointment. She said if it doesn’t work this year she would keep
trying just in case my insurance would change and agree to cover the test
before I turn 40. I’m not really all that anxious to get a mammogram, but I
also don’t want to be stupid about it. With a maternal grandmother dying before
age 50 from breast cancer and now my mom dealing with it too, I’d rather be
safe than sorry. And my mom had an aggressive form of breast cancer, which had
she let it go her prognosis may have been a lot different, so I want to take it
seriously.
The other concern we discussed was my massively annoying
period. Not only does my period last for at least 7 but often times more than
10 days, it is very heavy for 2-3 days to the point that I feel like I can’t be
more than a few steps from the bathroom. It’s a mess. And, as if to prove my
point, my period started last Saturday and I was still spotting pretty heavily
today. Lovely. I told my midwife that I really didn’t want to go back on the
pill because I don’t like how it makes me feel and I asked if there were any
other options. She suggested Progesterone but wanted to run it past the doctor
before prescribing it to me. After I changed and she came back into the room,
she said the doctor wanted to do an endometrial biopsy and sonohysterogram
before starting me on the Progesterone. He wanted to make sure there wasn’t
another other factor, other than my weight and PCOS, to cause heavy bleeding. I
have to go back in a month for this procedure. Unfortunately for me, I remember
the sonohysterogram from when I was married and trying to get pregnant. It was
one of the first things the infertility doctor did, to make sure there wasn’t
anything abnormal about my uterus. I know I asked for help and I do want to not
have such horrendous periods, but this stupid procedure just makes me want to
crawl out of my skin. I’m not fearful of what will happen while the doctor
fills my uterus with saline and checks
the lining for fibroids and polyps, I’m not fearful of any cramping or
discomfort from the biopsy, what scares me is how closely this resembles my
experience with infertility treatments. I’m hoping I can keep myself out of
that headspace, where I was anxiously praying for a less-than dire diagnosis,
something that could be “fixed,” but my visit this morning, staring at picture
after picture of mom with baby, reading the Natural Birthing Code on the back
of the bathroom door – I fear I will become unhinged. I suppose it sounds
silly, but this is part of what kept me from going to the gyno for nearly three
years. It had become too closely associated with infertility and those ghosts
that haunt me still today. Sigh. I know, I know – I just have to put on my big
girl panties and get over it. Sigh.
Good luck for your procedure. I endured periods like that my last few years, when I couldn't move away from the bathroom, and I hated it. Turned out the culprits were fibroids. Yes, having the scans brings back memories of infertility exams. But the relief from the bleeding was worth it in the end.
ReplyDelete