Babies Can Wait

I had another conversation with Chica Marie regarding her older sister’s (supposed) pregnancy. It’s a fine line to walk when talking about it because I’m not trying to shame her sister but at the same time I don’t want Chica Marie thinking teenage pregnancy is cool. So, we focused on talking about the things her sister couldn’t do with a baby, like hang out with her friends anytime she wanted, or go to “grown up” parties (meaning, not kid parties because Chica Marie argued her sister could bring the baby to her birthday party). We talked about how her sister would need to get a job to pay for diapers and formula and clothing for the baby. And, we talked about how much different things would be if her sister waited until she had her own place and was in a stable relationship so she would have a partner helping her with the baby. A lot of it was conjecture, since I don’t really know her situation and maybe she already has a job and someone helping with the baby. Mostly, I just wanted to impress upon Chica Marie how babies are a treasure but that having one can wait until you are really ready. And I explained ready as being out of school, having your own place, and a decent paying job in addition to a stable, loving relationship (is it too much to hope for marriage before baby?). I’m not sure if I got through to her and, really, this isn’t a once and done conversation. It will certainly come back up as she gets older and begins to understand biology and human anatomy. I’m sure the period talk (which I feel is looming because girls as young as 8 can get their period) will bring up the whole baby-thing. And, of course, when we actually talk about sex preventing an unwanted pregnancy will be a big part of the conversation (along with a lot of other safety issues, including coercion and unwanted sexual attention). After her bath and our conversation Chica Marie informed me she wanted 7 kids all with names beginning with R and she listed the names. I’m not sure she took our conversation as seriously as I did, so we will just have to keep talking as the subject comes up.