Is It Too Late?

On Monday Primero called me at work and asked me if I could take off of work to see a family therapist together with him. He did not want to see the therapist I see, he wanted someone who is unfamiliar with either side of our story. I agreed a fresh perspective would be good and asked my therapist for a recommendation. After playing phone tag for a few days, I was finally able to speak to the receptionist and get an appointment with a new family therapist who works at the same agency as my therapist. Our appointment is for the day after Veteran’s Day. I’m glad Primero asked to see a therapist together but right now I am feeling like it’s just a little too late. I am emotionally worn down to nothing; I don’t know if I believe our relationship can be salvaged. For a year now I have been battling with Primero and the million little jabs and cuts have all-but destroyed me. I am at the point where I second guess everything Primero tells me and everything he does. And, after doing this for so long, I really have come to the point where I think we would be better off not living together anymore. I didn’t want to reach this point, I have fought hard against it, but this past weekend, when he came home and walked right past me like I was nothing, like I didn’t exist, I realized how the air in the home changed and I felt like it was choking me and how much more relaxed I was when he wasn’t home. I truly feel like I need to turn my attention to the little ones, I need to be there for them in a better emotional state than I have been in lately. They need me. Primero has made it clear he does not and he doesn’t seem to want anything but his things. The little ones want a family.

 

Next week Love Bug is being evaluated to start services in the daycare. He has been having bad days for months, but now instead of being a bi-weekly or weekly occurrence, it is daily. When he is upset about a small infraction (like not being one of the first kids called on to wash their hands yesterday), he has a meltdown. Yesterday he scratched his face, leaving a bloody mark. The day before he made his teacher carry him to the park because he would not get up off the floor and walk. Then, when the class was walking back from the park, he kept hitting another kid in front of him because he was angry the teacher made him walk. He runs in class and laughs when he is reprimanded. He has punched, kicked, bit, slapped, and pinched more than one of his teachers (luckily, he does not seem to react that way to his classmates). Almost every day last week he was removed from his classroom and had to sit with another staff member (the assistant director or the director)  because he was not cooperating in class. At home, his behaviors are not as intense. He gets angry when he doesn’t get his way, but he doesn’t often hit me. I don’t know what is going on with him, but I am worried and I know we need to do something for the daycare. I hope we are able to help him before he starts school next year. From dealing with his sister, I sense he might have a similar diagnosis, but I don’t want to jump to conclusions. Chica Marie’s mobile therapist will be able to work with Love Bug, so it will be someone he knows. I’m really hoping it will help.