I Don't Sleep Alone

 

When I was talking to my sister last week about Chica Marie sleeping on my floor and lamenting the loss of autonomy in my own bed, my sister reminded me how often she would sleep in my bed or on my bedroom floor. It occurred to me, the only stretch of time I didn’t have anyone sleeping with me was when I was in college. And even then, I was not alone in the room, just in my bed by myself. You would think, given my history of not sleeping alone, I would be accustomed to someone sleeping in my bed, but alas, it still makes me toss and turn. Right now, it feels like I will forever be prying someone’s toes out of my hamstring, or shoving a warm snoring body onto their side of the bed. I don’t mind the cats so much because they usually sleep at my feet or behind my knees. Sometimes, my cat (only one is really mine) Brisa likes to sleep on top of me, either on my hip if I’m on my side, or on my chest if I’m on my back. But, her slight frame is not as distracting as Love Bug grabbing my face in his sleep or Bailey, the beagle, snuffling under my covers to steal my warmth.

 

Both of the little ones relish sleeping in my room, with me. They eschew sleeping in their own beds in their own bedroom. At night, as I am trying to woo them to sleep, they talk about who will wake up first and sneak off to my room. For a long time, Love Bug would wake up Chica Marie to bring him to my room. Only recently, Chica Marie has been staying in my room. I listen to their nightly banter about braving the kitchen and passing the dark basement door before reaching the safety of my room. Even when he slept in my bedroom, Love Bug would climb into my bed nightly. It’s funny to me now, but at one point early on I was very concerned that Love Bug was not bonding with me. Now, he is a total momma’s boy. With Chica Maire it’s a little harder, but knowing she seeks me out for comfort is positive.

 

At some point I am sure I will look back at this point and read it with wistful nostalgia as I try to rouse two grumpy teenagers who never want to leave their bedroom. I will look back and ache for the time when Chica Marie and Love Bug fought to sleep in my room. It is the nature of the beast in parenting. We grasp time, longing to find a pause or slow down option, only to be left with our beautiful memories to coddle. Such is life!