Fertile vs. Infertile

     I have been thinking today about the fertile world, where pregnancies can happen accidentally and pregnancy is something to vigilantly guard against. This is a world in which stopping all methods of birth control (or sometimes even while taking birth control!) quickly and easily results in babies galore! In contrast, the infertile world is a land of extreme highs and lows where the wait for a baby can stretch on indefinitely. It is a place where all extreme methods of conception are considered and tried, often times repetitively.
     In these two worlds, the route to motherhood is drastically different. For instance, in the fertile world 85% of women can expect to be pregnant roughly a year after tossing out the prophylactics. In the infertile world a woman never knows when the fertility gods will smile upon her, open her womb, and bring forth a new life. A fertile woman might feel nauseous and constipated with sore breasts and a propensity to vomit at strong smells during the first trimester of her pregnancy. An infertile woman might experience sore breasts, cramps, hot flashes, headaches, nauseous, and crazy-hormones just trying to achieve pregnancy. Fertile women might complain about their morning sickness and extreme discomfort as her body grows and stretches to accommodate her growing baby. Infertile women might suffer in silence as they endure grueling medication, invasive and reptative testing, and monthly disappointment, knowing they would do anything to have a baby. Fertile women worry about labor and delivery; infertile women worry they might never feel a new life forming in their belly. Fertile women prepare a new room for their baby, carefully selecting the right colors and themes. Infertile women redecorate the extra bedroom to look like anything but a space for a baby they might never have. Fertile women count the days until they find out the sex of their baby while infertile women count how many cycles they have been trying to get pregnant. Fertile women talk incessantly about the new thing their child is doing. Infertile women wonder if they will ever get to attend parent-teacher conferences, baseball games, or dance recitals.
     Tomorrow I have my saline ultrasound (weather pending - we are looking at 1/2 an inch of ice coming our way) and more blood will be drawn. For whatever reason, this round of Clomid has caused excessive heat flashes, headaches, and only a few dizzy spells. My breasts are not sore yet, but I know they will be in another week or so. We will see if I am ovulating and they will tell us when to have sex. And I still have to get the 2 hour glucose test done. I am doctor weary and would just like to be pregnant already!