Side Note

     So, I was writing out my next post at work today (my job is not very busy most days) when I was interrupted by a phone call. It was Melanie, one of the nurses from the infertility clinic. She was calling to let me know the results of the blood test they took yesterday. According to the tests, I ovulated all by myself this month. She then said I should get my period on my own this month and to call the office if my period begins before my next scheduled appointment (both my period and the appointment are next Tuesday). She did not say, "Let us know if our services are not going to be needed." Not, "Let's wait and see what happens." No, "This is encouraging, you might have conceived on your own." Nope. She just said, "let us know if your period begins before your next appointment." Perhaps she didn't want to give me false hope. Um, I only ovulated 2 out of the 5 times I took the Clomid and NOW I do it all on my own?! Maybe she believes that only "broken" uterus' come to her office?
     Now, ordinarily I would be trying very hard to not let my dreams shoot over the moon and begin picking out maternity clothing (I've done that and dam near bought some too) or obsess about names (something I tend to do when especially un-busy at work), or try to determine the date of birth and what happened in history on that particular day (I do this nearly monthly anyway). But, this month I am just plain nervous, bordering on panicky. Why you ask? Well, last month, for Christmas, Flaco and I went to visit his family in Nicaragua. While there I picked up some hitchhikers (aka Giardia parasites - not fun, I don't recommend them). So, last week my family doctor gave me some medicine to kill the little interlopers. This medicine is not recommended to be given to a pregnant woman. The doctor asked me if there was a chance I could be pregnant. As a fertility challenged woman, I answered as honestly as possible - we've been trying for 2 years and nada, so my assumption is that there is not much of a chance I can be pregnant. Now, I am beginning to wish I had just toughed it out or asked for a medicine that a pregnant woman can take. I feel guilty and like I am a terrible mother without even knowing that I will become a mother in the next 9 months (I mean other than to our furry kids). I mean, seriously!! What are the dam odds on this one?! 24 months being unable to conceive, take an ugly pill and WHAM-OH preggo?! I know, I know, I know. I am getting ahead of myself. As my sage mother said, "You will have to cross that bridge when you get there." And, to be honest, it's not like Flaco and I had loads of sex this month. We both came home with colds and then I was sick with the Giardia. But, we did have sex. Oh, how I love to torture myself! But, I will be on pins and needles until next Tuesday when my "frienemy" is due. . . . Aye Dios mio!!