Secrets

     When we first started trying to conceive, we did not tell anyone. I don't know why, really. I guess we just wanted it to be a surprise - a really nice surprise! For the first year only one friend knew we were trying. But, the first year ticked by and then the second year began and our optimism began to fade. Slowly, I began revealing our difficulties. I told my mother and my mother-in-law and some close friends. But, I haven't "come out" to everyone yet. And, I feel I have good reason not to, given some results after telling people I trusted. It's really a self-preservation thing.
     I also struggle with the "do you have any kids question?" or the "are you guys planning to have any kids?" To the first question, I usually answer, "just furry kids!" then laugh like it's such a funny joke. If I am in a particularly delicate mood I answer "no" in a way that does not encourage further questions. To the second question, generally I sigh then say, "when God wants." For some reason this always prompts the question asker to wonder what this means. It means, whenever God feels like letting my egg meet Flacos sperm and then letting this precious bundle of new life settle into my uterus, we shall then have kids (or at least a kid). When the asker is particularly nosey I finally just tell them straight out - we are struggling with infertility (so leave me the hell alone, ok?). I guess that is all I have to say tonight . . . . :)