I think my husband and I have a pretty good sex life. I mean, I'm satisfied and I believe he is too. But, sometimes I feel like it is just a means to reach a specific end - a baby. There have been numerous times in the past two years when I just demand we make love because it is the most fertile time of the month. I try to keep things fresh, but honestly, it begins to feel like a chore after awhile. And now we are going to have a nurse and doctor telling us when to have intercourse. Sometimes, I miss the spontaneity - just having sex for the sake of having sex - and not always thinking like, "This could be it! We could be 'making' our baby right now!" Often times, I am not even remotely in the mood but we have to "do it" the weeks between my period for the best chance of pregnancy.
We have tried every position we can think of to achieve conception. I purchased pre-seed thinking that it would help the little swimmers reach their destination easier. Too bad I didn't know there was nothing for the little fellas to meet; just the vast, empty, infertile space within my barren womb. I have looked into some homeopathic options to take for infertility, but have never really known what to take. I've heard raspberry tea leaves work and some Chinese herbs. And cough syrup improves cervical mucus. I guess I never knew what was wrong with me, so I didn't want to go trying random remedies. I think now I would be willing to give it a try as long as it doesn't interfere with my other medications.
So, this morning I called the lab to see about getting my 2 hour glucose testing done. They said they did it on Saturday's as long as I was there and seen before two hours before they close. So, despite a raging headache, I got out of bed, dressed, and ran over to the lab. I sat there for half an hour and they kept taking other people ahead of my because they had appointments (no mention of appointments being needed when I called them). So, I ended up leaving because it was beyond two hours before they would close. And now I don't know when I will be able to do this test. . . Ugh! I just want to get it over with already!
Just came across your blog and can understand each and every post. I agree that writing about it all and comments really help one get through the dark times that come with infertility. I could talk about any one of your posts - but I'll stick to discussing this last one and sex. I know! We always thought baby making sex would be wonderful--carefree, pleasurable, and of course, easy. Not so much, I guess. I am sick of prescribed sex and feel that we are being robbed of our sex life. Just wanted you to know there are others out there understanding the reality of this baby making sex. It's not great!
ReplyDeleteI'm new to your blog but I really enjoy your posts. I totally get what you're saying about how the romance department becomes routine or worse, mandantory. Hang in there... I noinated you for an award on my blog! :-)
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind words bean dreams. We try to keep it spicy in the bedroom, but that's not always possible, as you know. But, we will keep trying! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the award One Cycle at a Time! I am honored, being the new kid on the block and all! :)