Some Details

Surprisingly, the county case worker came over to our house last night while our CHOR case worker was there for her planned bi-monthly visit. The county case worker gave us some more insight into the TPR hearing and the case in general. First, she admitted that the initial reschedule for the TPR hearing back in June was due to her “feeling bad” about terminating rights just as bio mom seemed to be getting her act together. She wanted to give her one more last chance. Sadly, it was evident by the next court date hearing in October that bio mom was not really prepared, in any sense of the word, to parent. The county case worker stated she does not feel bad about TPR now, she feels it is in the best interest of the children.

 

The county case worker explained that no one has heard from bio mom – not her attorney, not her case worker at the housing program, not CYS, not CHOR, not her own mother – since the middle of February. The last time any agency had contact with her was the planning meeting the CHOR case worker and I had with bio mom present via phone. She did not attend the TPR hearing and she had not been in communication with her attorney anytime recently. The county case worker expressed worry for her well-being and, knowing her past history of making poor choices, it is scary to think she’s gone totally radio silent. I think her mom is worried too because she asked me if bio mom showed up to the TPR hearing on Monday. Sadly, my first thought when hearing she was MIA was thinking she was expecting again and trying to hide it. The county worker explained bio mom has 30 days to submit an appeal for the TPR, but since she is incommunicado it seems unlikely she will do that.

 

I did ask the county case worker if bio mom were to have another child would we be notified so the little ones could know their sibling. She said if bio mom were to have a baby in this county or the neighboring one, CYS would be notified and yes, they would let us know. Apparently, there is a list at the hospital and bio mom’s name is on it, so the hospital would be obligated to contact CYS. I had no idea such a list existed, but I guess it makes sense.

 

I can understand why bio mom would not want to stick around for the TPR hearing. The county had 120 pages of testimony and I’m sure none of it was going to give her the warm fuzzies. Still, to stop communicating with anyone is disconcerting. I had hoped she would continue to heal and make better choices for her life, making it possible for her to have a relationship with the children as they grow. To know her very life might be in peril is so, so heartbreaking. Love Bug might never know her. Chica Marie would be devastated to totally lose her; she still blames me for not allowing her to see her mom. I hope she resurfaces soon. The last time we spoke I had promised to send her the most adorable professional pictures of Love Bug that were taken at daycare. The CHOR case worker sent them to the address they had on file for bio mom but no one knows if she actually received them. Wherever she is, I truly hope she is well….