Friday, September 15, 2017

All My Eggs in One Basket


I wrote about how the new therapist I am seeing suggested I present a different solution to CYS, giving her six months to work with me and see if the Filial therapy techniques will be effective. She told me to fight for my daughter. So, when our case worker, who is back from medical leave, came over Wednesday night I presented this alternative idea to her. She was utterly flabbergasted to hear what had happened while she was out and was asking me to explain it to her, which I couldn’t. She felt like this new plan, the Filial therapy, was exactly what I had been asking for and she felt it was worth another conversation since the county has not responded to questions on where things are at the moment. She promised me she would talk to her supervisor to get a better sense of why therapeutic foster care was the suggestion and try to explain it to me. I felt some momentary relief, thinking all might not be lost. These past four weeks (it has been four weeks since our meeting!) have felt like a very slow progression to execution – the death march to the end. The noose has been placed around my neck and the anxiety of waiting for the stool to fall has been excruciating. I don’t know if this will stop the plans that have already been set in motion. Our case worker confessed to me the county worker has expressed concerns about the adoption for Chica Marie. She didn’t say specifically what that might be, but she indicated her response was, “Well, yeah! She isn’t getting any support in the home.” I have to admit, I am rather frustrated with the new county worker. She’s been our county worker for like 6 months and already seems to think she knows me and Chica Marie better than we know ourselves. She seems to have judged our family and found us wanting for reasons I do not understand. I do remember the county worker telling me at the meeting that I am showing how much I love Chica Marie by letting her go. But, I find it hard to believe moving her out is in her own best interest and I believe that even less after hearing of this therapy that sounds exactly like what I’ve been searching for all along.

 

My case worker sent me an email yesterday, which I didn’t see in time before she had to leave the office, asking for us to have a conversation. She said she has things to discuss with me but didn’t want to just put it in an email. She also wants to know my availability to have another meeting with CHOR staff and the county sometime next week to talk about things again. Oh the talking about things! I’m nervous to make the call. I keep telling myself that it cannot be worse than what it already is right now. The worst case scenario for the phone call is that no one is willing to give the Filial therapy a try and we keep the course we are already on for therapeutic foster care. Still, it’s scary to have all my eggs and hopes in this basket, knowing it can easily be scoffed into oblivion. The irony is, the case worker supervisor was the one who suggested I seek out a form of family therapy using my insurance which led me to this new therapist and her Filial therapy option. I will update after the phone call. Fingers crossed.

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