No Decisions

Our CHOR case worker came out last night. Apparently, after her phone call cancelling the meeting that wasn’t happening anyway, many emails were still zipping back and forth between various CHOR and county staff. The meeting is definitely not happening before court because no one (except me) has any time to make it happen. I guess finding an agreeable time for 3 county staff, 4 CHOR staff and me is just not an easy task. Or so it seems. So, in light of the meeting not happening before we are all standing (well, sitting) before a judge, our CHOR case worker asked what was to be expected in court. My fear has been being blindsighted by the county declaring a move to grandma’s in the middle of the court hearing. The response from the county case worker’s supervisor was stating that nothing will be decided at court and nothing will be decided before a meeting. This is slightly reassuring. In response, the CHOR adoption case worker came to my defense in addressing why this is even an issue because I never said I wanted Chica Marie removed or that I didn’t want to adopt her. Never. The email the adoption case worker wrote was eloquently beautiful and really cut to the heart of the matter in expressing exactly what I have been feeling and trying to understand how this has all happened. We are not out of the woods yet, the county is only warming up their case, I think. But, at least they aren’t going to rush in front of the judge and demand an immediate removal. Or so it would seem.

 

All the parties are still struggling to find a mutually agreeable meeting time because the one thing everyone agrees on is that a meeting is necessary. And Chica Marie’s GAL wants to be there too. My goal is to make this meeting about the children, Chica Marie and Love Bug, and not me or CYS. The things I’ve thought to mention thus far is the stability and familiarity Chica Marie has in our home and with us. The longevity of this placement and our commitment to one another as family; it’s been well over three years. We are all bonded. The sibling connection Chica Marie has with Love Bug. While she remembers living with her sister, Love Bug has no memory living without Chica Marie. He was barely three months old when Chica Marie moved into our home. There’s my commitment to keeping their extended family involved in their lives and, even with this recent hiccup with Grandma, I am still committed to keeping them in touch with their family, I know it is important. Chica Marie struggles mightily with change, so this upheaval would definitely set her back. I would really hate for her to lose her first grade teacher because she is working so hard to get through to Chica Marie and I don’t know of any other teacher who would dedicate so much of herself to one student. Mostly, I don’t want to do a lot of the talking at the meeting. I want to simply state I never said I wanted Chica Marie moved but was amenable to the therapeutic foster care if that was going to get us the help we needed. Nothing since then has swayed my opinion, although I am now more than ever fearful of moving her to therapeutic foster care, making it easier for her to stay gone.