Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Court with the Flu

Despite the snow, bronchitis, the flu and no school we had court yesterday afternoon. I thought court was in the morning so I had us to BCCYS by 9:45 am only to find out court wasn’t until 1. Primero didn’t have school due to the snow and the potential for more snow that turned out to be a dud (they were calling for a blizzard starting yesterday but we only got a few inches of snow), so I had to take him along. This turned out to be a blessing, since I’m the one with the flu. Since we didn’t have court I took the little girl to her doctor’s office – it was the closest one. She has bronchitis. Then we went to work so I could take the rest of the day off for court and more doctor visits. We grabbed a quick lunch and then headed back to BCCYS for court.

I was hoping to sit in and hear what was happening but the baby had other ideas. He wasn’t cranky but he also wasn’t quiet. So, we had to leave the courtroom and sit in the hallway where he could holler at his echo until his little heart was content. The only thing I heard in the beginning was that the older girl had made more accusations and was once again being moved to a new foster home. I was going to have her visit for a sleep-over this weekend, until I heard this piece of news. Now, I’ve changed my mind. I just don’t want to have any incidents happen in my home that would cause there to be an issue for me and the kids. I know that the accusations are stemming from the bio mom’s manipulations but I can’t chance it with Primero’s adoption so close. I told the county worker and the CHOR case worker I had changed my mind and needed to rescind my offer and they both understood. Unfortunately, I had already mentioned to bio mom the plans that were in the works. I doubt the bio mom would be as understanding, but she’ll get over it. It is, after all, the monster she has created. The county case worker did say that the grandmother presented for the older girl, so maybe she can move there and settle in and be happier. At least that’s the hope. I’m not sure how bio mom would feel about that, since, as far as I know, the grandmother didn’t take any of the other children who were placed in care.

Since I missed most of what happened, I had to hear from the case worker and Primero what was said and what was decided. The children will not be going home anytime soon. The next court date isn’t until July, at which point the baby will be a year old. There was mention of the things that bio mom has to do, such as seeing a therapist and getting a job. Primero mentioned she wasn’t happy during most of the hearing and I’m sure she wasn’t because she thought they would be home a long time ago already. I feel sorry for her, yet I know she isn’t helping herself in a lot of ways. I noticed the baby bump again yesterday. She was hiding it under a winter jacket but the last two buttons on her shirt were bulging over a bump. I don’t think she’s feeling well and she did cancel today’s visit siting a cold. I know it was mentioned that doctors told her after the little girl was born she should consider permanent sterilization because her body could not continue bearing children. Then she had the baby boy and he came a little early due to preeclampsia. And, I think she’s smoking or living with someone who smokes because when she holds the baby I can smell it on him, under the stench of too much perfume and this does not help with high blood pressure.   

Regardless of anything else, the good news (for me) is that the little ones aren’t going anywhere until at least July. By that point, the baby will be a year old. And, by that point, if bio mom is indeed pregnant and my calculations are correct, the new baby will be born. I know it’s purely selfish, but I’m so happy to know the baby will be with us until he’s a year old at least. Primero believes the baby will stay forever (he still takes issue with the little girl), so he just takes it as fact.      

It’s so strange how different things are this time versus the last court visit. But, I feel like I’ve gotten my equilibrium back and I’m not panic stricken like I was last month that the children would be taken away. One other piece of news we were given yesterday is that Hermano will be moved back to our county, possibly the city, with a different foster agency (not CHOR). Primero was shocked that his brother was telling the truth and I am a little too because we are both fairly certain it will only be a matter of time before he runs off to be with bio mom and not in foster care. No matter how hard you try, there are just some kids you cannot reach. For that I am truly sorry.

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